Craziness

Yesterday was crazy. But it was crazy in a good way.

The boy was kicking letter butt. Normally, Mondays are a little slower on the homeschooling front because over the weekend we don't push it. We might do some simple science or math as we strongly believe in incorporating learning into everyday situations but it's not scheduled or planned...spontaneous learning, if you will. I'm really proud of him and all the work he's done without complaint since we started. 

The girl, on the other hand, has decided she now wants to stand up, unassisted. The only problem is that she can't stand up unassisted. She gets so frustrated when you try to hold her hands and help her. Instead, she just sits there crouched down like a sumo wrestler about to pounce. She tries to stand and falls. Repeatedly. Speaking of falling, last Saturday she fell. Hard. So hard on her head in fact that she started throwing up. I've never been so sick to my stomach with worry. Her eyes were equally dilated and reactive. She never blacked out. She just threw up a couple times but it was more than enough to take her into the ER. Once there, they looked her over and cleared her. Told us to closely watch her for 24 hours and she should be fine. We did and she seems to have recovered fully. I have no doubt that she will be the reason I have a heart attack and go grey sometime in the next five years but I wouldn't change her for anything. I love her little independent, stubborn as a mule spirit.

Back to yesterday though. 

I had a much anticipated appointment with my doctor. It was the big yay or nay on training for Disney's half marathon in January. After an hour in the waiting room (something I'm far too used to...cardiologists and high risk OBs are more often than not called away so waiting rooms and I are old friends), I was seen. I used the wait time to read a book...Mousejunkies. I got it for Christmas but hadn't had a chance to read it until now. It may be the funniest Disney-addict-style book I've ever read. The subtitle is "all you need to know for a perfect vacation" and it's marketed as a tip/planning book but personally I think it's just a funny book for those of us who are already Mousejunkies. There's some decent tips but you can get more information from websites like AllEars.Net or books like the The Unofficial Guide To Walt Disney World.

And then the moment of truth came. 

My doctor checked me over. Discussed my condition and what was and wasn't safe. He gave me a heart rate to stay under, encouraged me to use a heart monitor (which I had already bought in the hopes I would be cleared) and gave me a beta blocker prescription with strict instructions that if I should go into tachicardia while running, crush it with my teeth and swallow it so that it will be absorbed as quickly as possible. And then he said the magical words..."GO FOR IT!"

To say I'm excited would be a massive understatement. I'm euphoric. I'm not a runner and I'm not excited to run. I'm excited to finish. I'm excited to finish a half marathon at Disney World and I will. Next January. 

I Want To Do The Impossible

This may be a case of putting the cart before the horse but I'm excited. I've decided to start training for Disney's Half Marathon in January. I'm pretty sure it's just a pre-mid-life crisis thing and I have to get cleared by my cardiologist but like I said, I'm excited.


For the last five years, I've either been pregnant, nursing, trying to get pregnant or recovering from a miscarriage. Not to mention the year and a half of the last two that I've been parenting solo. It's been exhausting and this is an opportunity for me to do something, to work for something that is just for me. I'll be 30 in March and although I don't think that's old by any means (I'll never be that girl who is 29 for the 2nd or 3rd or 4th time), it's still a milestone. I feel old in so many ways. We've been through multiple miscarriages, a combat deployment and I've seen more doctors than I care to remember. 


Don't get me wrong, I know I have a heart condition and it's not something I play around with. I'm just tired of it and pregnancy and the Army and doctors and everything else having control of my body and not me.

So, I've made an appointment with my doctor and I'm hoping/praying/crossing my fingers and am willing to beg him to help me come up with a safe training plan that will get me ready for the half marathon. I know my limits and I know my triggers. I'm not going to put myself in danger, I just want to do something that seems impossible because if I don't do something now, I'm afraid I never will.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible" -Walt Disney