Goodbye Deployment

Today is so much more than just St Patrick's Day for us. Today marks the one year anniversary that Joshua has been home from deployment. To say I've been anticipating this date would be an understatement. I've been desperate for it...particularly for our children. Reintegration has been hard, at times as hard as the deployment was. Learning how to be a family of four, discovering our marriage again while also simultaneously helping Joshua adjust to how much our son had grown was difficult-Joshua left for the deployment when the boy was two and a half and was gone for 13 months but to be honest, Joshua really left for training when the boy was a year and a half and was gone 19 out of the next 24 months. It took a toll. I'm in awe of how well our son has done but there are remnants of the pain he felt. 

Last week when we took both the kids to the optometrist (neither needed glasses-more than a small miracle itself!), we were about half way through the 45 minutes route when the boy's eyes got huge and filled with tears. I was almost panicked, watching him struggle to get control of himself to be able to tell us what hurt/what was wrong and then he said it...

"Does this mean Daddy is going far, far away again?" 

His four year old mind had linked the one other time he remembered being at the optometrist with his Daddy being gone as it was shortly before Joshua had returned. 

It's not the first time he had asked it...when we were on our way to Disney last September, he had remembered the year before's R&R trip and had a small breakdown thinking we were all going to Florida but that his Daddy wouldn't be coming back with us.

I've been so ready for this day to come. To be able to say a year ago today my husband was home (or at least not being shot at) is a blessing that I treasure. The deployment taught me many lessons but one of the biggest was patience and what long-suffering love really is. It took long-suffering love to get through the deployment but it's also taken a long-suffering love to get through reintegration. We've made it to a year. We're still married...and I'm sad to say that isn't the case for everyone we've walked this journey with. Our children are healthy and happy and we've found our new normal. With Joshua still in the military, I don't take his being home for granted. I recognize and accept we may go through this same cycle again but today, we celebrate the time we've had together.

Maybe it's providential that this anniversary falls on St Patrick's Day. Many mistakenly assume he brought Christianity to Ireland (or miraculously rid it of snakes-although that would certainly be something to celebrate) but what he really did, according to Jon Sweeny who wrote a book about St Patrick, was organize, inspire and expand Christianity within Ireland but he didn't even do that right away. He spent six years as a slave-which is where he discovered his faith and then decades studying before he returned to Ireland. 

Regardless of what the future may hold...what deployments, training separations or anything else we may face, St Patrick's Day will always stand as a personal reminder to "rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces perseverance, and perseverance produces character, and character produces hope."

Happy Hanukkah

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah (sometimes spelled Chanukah because there is no direct translation).

In America, Hanukkah is often considered the Jewish version of Christmas with gifts given and games played but the real reason for the holiday is a celebration of God's miracle.

Hanukkah begins every year on the 25th day of Kislev (the 9th month of the Hebrew Calendar) and because the Hebrew Calendar is lunisolar, Hanukkah can occur anywhere from late November to late December in the Gregorian Calendar.

Hanukkah began around 167 BC when the Jewish Holy Land was controlled by the Syrian-Greek ruler Antiochus IV Epiphanes who had criminalized Judaism. The tyrant outlawed circumcision, shabbat (Sabbath) services and made even just the possession of the Torah (aka the Old Testament to Christians) a capitol offense. Worse, he defiled the Temple by sacrificing pigs and placing Roman gods inside the Holy of Holies. A small group of Jewish rebels, the Maccabees, fought against the Hellenization and managed to drive out the much larger army. 

When the triumphant Jews entered the Temple and found it in ruins, they took some time to mourn and began the process to rededicate it. It took 8 days to rededicate the Temple but there was only enough oil for the Menorah for one day. God made the oil last all eight days and that miracle is what is celebrated every year on Hanukkah.

*Side note: the Temple Menorah had/has seven branches as described in Exodus 25:31-40 whereas the Hanukkah Menorah has nine branches...one for each day and one called the shamash (the "servant" or "helper") which is used to light the others.

On the first night of Hanukkah, only the shamash and one candle is placed on the Menorah. The shamash is lit and then used to light the first candle (the farthest right of the person lighting) and with it the traditional blessing is usually sung. Each subsequent night an additional candle is added and blessing given. 

Whether or not you're Jewish, Hanukkah can be a great reminder of the many miracles that God has given all His people. I think it's interesting to note that although Hanukkah began when the Maccabees regained the temple, the fight for independence was far from over, It is, in many ways, reflective of our own struggles. Miracles can and do happen in the midst of our most hard fought battles.

For all our friends and family who celebrate, we hope you have a Happy Hanukkah.

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My husband would be disappointed if I didn't add a little Adam Sandler to my Hanukkah post...enjoy...

Hanukkah Song 3rd edition 

(I tried repeatedly to find videos I could embed but none of the good quality ones would work so here's a link to the official version of the 3rd edition)

Happy Halloween!

I love holidays...especially ones that are photographed endlessly and allow us to look back and see how the family has grown.

2008

2009

 2010

 2011

2012

We hope everyone has a happy and safe Halloween! 

Freedom Isn't Free

I hope everyone had a happy and safe 4th of July. I really wanted to write about our plans but in addition to splashing in the kids' pool, taking some holiday pics and grilling steaks, we spent the night eating and blowing things up with some Army friends as a surprise birthday/4th of July party with some of the guys Joshua deployed with. 

It was good to get together especially because the birthday boy (aka Hopper) is a guy whom Joshua hasn't seen since Hopper was seriously injured and air-lifted out. He and his wife have been in my prayers for months. I know that they've both struggled with the injury but they're really an inspiration in strength. Our nation's birth and growth continue because of the sacrifices of men and women like Hopper and their families. 

Friday Fun

This week has been crazy but it's been a good crazy (well, except for the emergency run to the doctor yesterday for the boy but that's another story for another day-he's good and today we're focusing on the fun ahead).

Tomorrow is the boy's 4th birthday! I can't believe how big he is already. It's gone too fast. This week he helped me make Reese's Peanut Butter Bars. It was a blast having him help me with the recipe I found on pinterest. Although Joshua and the boy LOVE them, I'm just "in like" with them. I think it needs some sort of chocolate graham cracker crust.

Tomorrow we'll have a family day...going to see Brave and do basically whatever the boy wants. We'll have his "friend" party with extended family on Sunday at a bowling alley...thus the new shirt I made for the boy...

After the party, the kids are going to my parents' and Joshua and I are going to visit our best friends in El Paso. To say I'm excited would be a massive understatement. Joshua hasn't seen them in over a year and a half and the four of us haven't all been together without children since we had a weekend away in Tulsa and were able to see the Broadway show Wicked (highly recommended btw).

Hope you all have a great week and I'll be back in the blogging world in about a week.

Disney World Military Discount Explained

(photo credit: dcaligari.blogspot.com)

***UPDATE***

The 2012 Military Room and Ticket Discounts which end at the end of September (explained below) has been extended from October 2012 to September 28th, 2013 with the tickets at a slightly higher price. The four day park hopper tickets will be $156 per person

Block out dates are as follows...

• Nov. 22 – Nov. 24, 2012
• Dec. 23 – Dec. 31, 2012
• Mar. 25 – Apr. 4, 2013

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Over the last couple of years, there's been some great discounts at Disney World for military families but with all things Disney, it can appear complicated so I thought I'd break it down in the most simplistic way I can...

There are two separate discounts...one on tickets and one on resort stays. You can have both of those discounts BUT you cannot add another discount like free dining. In fact, with packages (where the tickets, resorts and sometimes a dining plan are bundled) you may only have ONE discount which is why you need to do the numbers to see what discount gives you more for your money. 

The current offer (which is basically the same offer just renewed for the last couple of years) ENDS September 30th, 2012. There is no word yet on whether or not the offer will be extended another year but I'll update this page as soon I know more.

Who is eligible?

Active or retired members of the U.S. Military INCLUDING National Guard, Reservists and U.S. Coast Guard and their spouses may purchase the tickets for themselves, friends and family (more details in the fine print section...)

Tickets

You must PURCHASE tickets on or before September 27th, 2012.

Also, you must USE all the tickets on or before September 30th, 2012.

The cost is $138 and gives you 4 days of park hopper tickets. The cost is per person 3 years and up regardless of age. To give you an example of the savings...rack rate for an adult 4 day park hopper is normally $313, for a child (3-9 yrs) it's $296 so it can absolutely save you a ton of money.

If you wish to spend some time at one of the two Disney water parks (in addition to the four theme parks), you can upgrade your tickets for $27 each and have up to four days in the water parks in addition to four days worth of park hopper theme park tickets.

You buy your tickets at the ITT...MWR...whatever the morale center is called at your base...post...port...fort...camp...wherever you are at and whatever they call it...that's where you buy them (I know that didn't make sense but really military life doesn't require learning another language, it requires learning five new languages). Because you buy them "on base" it's tax free.

EITHER the service member OR his/her spouse may purchase the tickets (which is great if your service member is otherwise occupied...like deployed and coming home for R&R). 

The fine print...

No more than SIX (6) four day tickets can be purchased, activated and/or used per service member/spouse TOTAL. If you're family is larger than six people 3 years and up, you'll have to buy separate tickets for the additional people. Either the service member or his/her spouse must be present and use one of the 4 day tickets.

As always, with the fine print, feel free to email me for more information, call Disney at 407-WDW-7675 or call your local ITT, MWR office.

Resort Stays

Unless you have a time share, if you're going to use the Disney military discount for tickets, you're going to need a place to stay. Where you should stay is always a big question when planning a trip to Disney and although normally I understand the dilemma, with the military discount, you really can't go wrong staying on property especially combined with the discounted tickets. You'll have access to the dining plans (at full price but still very convenient) as well as all the other great benefits to staying on property...you can go HERE for a breakdown of the on-property/off-property options including the military resort Shades of Green.

There are 3 levels of resorts at Disney...value, moderate and deluxe and offer a wide array of amenities, themes and decor. The military discount on resorts varies also by the level of resort that you choose. 

Value resorts will give you a 30% discount.

Moderate resorts will give you a 35% discount.

Deluxe resorts will give you a 40% discount.

The fine print...

Valid military ID is required at check in. If you arrive on either a Friday or Saturday there may be a minimum length of stay required based on the time of year you are visiting. There is a limited number of rooms set aside for this discount so be sure to book as soon as possible. Each service member/spouse may book up to three rooms per service member at the discounted rate.

Bottom Line

The discounts are great! Especially if it's your first time, you only plan to visit the mouse for a few days and you aren't as interested in the higher priced restaurants. If you're like my husband and I and you prefer a longer trip with several sit down meals, other discounts like the free dining offer that is available from time to time can be a greater discount. It depends first on your length of stay, second on how many people you have with you and lastly on what you want to do for meals. For example, we're going for eight days in September and have a free dining discount because it's the most economical thing for us but I'm hoping that Disney renews the military discount for my marathon weekend in January when I'm only going to be in Orlando for four or five days. 

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you have a great trip!-be sure to check out all my other Disney links on the left to help you plan out your adventure.

Memorial Day

Today has different meaning for me than ever before. Last year it frightened me. This year it humbles me. My husband came home from his deployment but 14 other soldiers from Oklahoma's 45th did not. 

* Second Lt. Jered W. Ewy, 33, of Edmond, on June 29

* Spc. Augustus J. Vicari, 22, of Broken Arrow, on July 29


* Staff Sgt. Kirk Avery Owen, 37, of Sapulpa, on Aug. 2


* Sgt. Anthony Del Mar Peterson, 24, of Chelsea, on Aug. 4


* Second Lt. Joe L. Cunningham, 27, of Kingston, on Aug. 13


* Lt. Damon Leehan, 30, of Moore, on Aug. 14


* Spc. Joshua Michael Seals, 21, of Porter, on Aug. 16


* Pfc. Tony J. Potter Jr., 20, of Okmulgee, on Sept. 9


* Spc. Christopher D. Horton, 26, of Collinsville, on Sept. 9


* Sgt. Bret D. Isenhower, 26, of Lamar, on Sept. 9


* Sgt. Mycal L. Prince, 28, of Minco, on Sept. 15


* Spc. Francisco J. Briseno-Alvarez Jr., 27, of Oklahoma City, on Sept. 25


* Pfc. Sarina Butcher, 19, of Checotah, on Nov. 1


* Spc. Chris Gailey, 26, of Ochelata, on Nov. 1 


We will never forget them or their families. 

Please remember that today is about them and all the other men and women who gave their lives for our country.

Friday Fun

I've been a bit (ok, more than a bit) MIA this week. Lots and lots of craziness. Playdates, friends leaving for Africa, T-ball parent's informational meeting (totally uninformative btw), training for the half marathon, reconnecting with an old friend and about a dozen other things that I can't even remember right now. Anyway, I've been unavailable when it comes to blogging...replying to comments...reading other blogs...all of that fun stuff so I plan to take some time on this fabulous long weekend to sit at my computer and have some me time. But now is sadly not that time. The boy is going to my parents for the weekend...woohoo...so I have to go pack his monster (it really is a monster...green and everything) suitcase. I'll just leave you with some fun pics from one of this week's playdates at the zoo...

I made her dress and we bought the Minnie ears (through the Disney Store) from Disney World...saw them the last time we went but forgot to pick up a pair...put her hair in pigtails and then clipped the ears  on. 

I know. She's adorable.

He LOVES her!

Our little Turtle (the boy's nickname) in front of the turtle exhibit.

My blue-eyed babies...if only they'd look at ME and my camera when they smile but no, that's not their style.

Ok. So this isn't technically a great pic but I love it because it's us. And it's real. The boy was concerned I'd let him fall backwards into the water (thanks for the vote of confidence kid) and the girl was annoyed at the sun (SO my daughter-you rarely see me without sun glasses or a hat unless like here it's for a picture).

Hope you had a great week and an equally wonderful long weekend. Let us always remember the reason for the holiday and those who gave everything so we could be free. 

Happy You-Day to All Would-Be Moms

Mother's Day is here. It can be a great time where you're able to celebrate your own mom and all she's done for you and it can be a day where you look back and marvel at your own children but for women who have suffered miscarriages or struggle with infertility, it can be a painful day. 

To those women I want to say you're not alone. You may not end up with the family you dreamed of as a child yourself but there are other ways and other dreams. You can get through this season. I thought our third miscarriage was going to break me. I remember falling apart and telling some of our close friends that I was tired of feeling like a tomb. You see, for me, getting pregnant was easy. Staying pregnant has always been the hard part. We wanted a HUGE family and after two successful (and very high risk/difficult pregnancies) we realize now that our huge family will come but it will come mostly through adoption. It's going to take more time and effort but we'll get there.

I hope that you have all the support, the chocolate, lemon-drop martinis and chick flicks or whatever else you need to get through this season. Celebrate you today. Spoil yourself. You deserve it.

My Heart Skips A Beat

I hadn't planned on blogging today but this morning I woke up with a migraine that has made it almost impossible to do even the easiest of things. I'm not focusing well (I apologize in advance for the inevitable typos to come), I'm nauseous and have no appetite. All of which has lead to heart palpitations. Don't worry. It's normal...for me.


When I get dehydrated, overly hungry, eat too much sugar or any of about a dozen other triggers, I have palpitations. A simple head cold like what I assume I'm experiencing now can bring it all on. I have what's called SVT...or super ventricular tachycardia. Sexy, right?! In a nutshell, the electrical current is messed up and my heart skips beats, it also speeds up and pumps before it actually has a chance to fill with blood...which hurts. It's not so debilitating that I have to go to the hospital...not normally at least. There are tricks to reverse the tachycardia and ways to avoid defribulation. It's not generally considered a life-threatening condition in and of itself. It is a giant pain in the butt when I'm pregnant (which of course I'm not) but more than anything on deployment days like today, it makes me miss my husband.


He doesn't baby me when I have "an episode." He doesn't ignore me either. He knows what will make it better and he knows that I hate it. I hate being weak. I hate being broken. But most of all I hate that I did it to myself. I don't talk about it much because it's literally my heart and it's difficult to admit. I damaged my heart by not eating. Anorexia. It's not a word I like to use because it congers up images of bony, damaged girls. I'm healthy now...well, apart from my heart. I eat. I love to eat. I still don't always see myself the way I should but it doesn't stop me from making healthy choices. It's just another thing that's easier when Joshua's home. Really everything is easier. I'm more myself when I'm with him. I'm more confident. I can relax. Ironically, one of the tips my cardiologists have repeated over the years is to meditate and relax as much as possible because stress only aggravates the condition. I try but honestly, I won't fully be able to relax until he's home. He's my best friend. He makes my heart skip a beat in a good way and I miss him.


So, today, while everyone is enjoying their chocolates (and other caffeinated, overly sugary yummy stupid things that I can't have-no bitterness really) and holding their husbands, I'm holding my breath (vagal maneuver) and waiting for mine to return. A year from now I hope I remember today. I hope I remember how lucky I will be to eat chocolate and hold Joshua.

Six Years Down...Fifty Four To Go

Six years ago I told my best friend I'd be with him forever...actually I specifically never used the word forever because I'm a commitment-phobe and the idea of forever gave me palpitations. Forever was of course implied in the vows but I very specifically told my now husband beforehand that I could only promise 60 years and we'll do sort of a year-to-year lease option after that. 

Somehow what I had intended to be a slightly sappy, cute little post about my husband and our anniversary has gone badly off course. So, I guess I'll just make it short and sweet...

Joshua understands my fears, my failures, my weaknesses and loves me anyway. He says the sarcastic things I think but does it so masterfully that the people it's directed towards, love him that much more for it. He's the best father any kid could have. He takes care of me when I'm sick and doesn't hold it against me that I tell him to suck it up when he's sick. He comes across as the mean one and lets me be the nice one (shh, it's a secret...he's a marshmallow-I'm the mean one). He lets me hold the remote. He shares my ridiculous obsession with all things Disney and graciously cooperates when I'm constantly saying that I want to stop and take a picture...over and over when most of the time he'd rather be doing just about anything in that moment other than smiling and pinning the children in their places while I click away. He supports my decision to stay home and would equally support me if I chose to go back to work. He cuddles up with me and watches chick flicks without complaint (even the ones he's not secretly excited about too).

He's my best friend and I miss him. 

Ok. Sappy moment over.

Post-Christmas Wrap Up

This is the obligatory recount of the Christmas highlights. We went up to my mom and step-dad's house for a long weekend. Did some shopping. Got to see my step-brothers...always fun. Opened some presents. Ate some good food. Kids caught Grandma's winter crud. 

Christmas Eve

Christmas morning-the boy is helping his sister open her new toys and stuff

The boy got a camera of his own...it's a Fisher Price and it takes really amazing video but the still picture quality is lacking (to say the least)

We're home again and I think the boy is on the upswing of the winter crud...I believe this because he invaded MY Christmas box of chocolates while I was out of the kitchen. 

His mug shot.

Thanksgiving...?

I'm probably the only one not feeling the nostalgic holiday...we just got back from Florida, the weather has been so much warmer than usual and Joshua's not home. It just doesn't feel right. I made the mistake of telling my mother that I just wasn't feeling it this year and ended up having to convince her that I'm not depressed. For the record, I'm not depressed. 

It just feels off. Don't get me wrong, I have more to be thankful for than any other year. Our baby girl is here (woohoo, not pregnant) and our boy is doing great even with the deployment.

In the end, what I'm thankful for most, is Joshua. Without him, I wouldn't have most of the greatest things in my life...our kids, our home, the ability to stay at home with our kids, many of our friends, almost everything that really matters. Holidays are not the same without him so I'm not feeling it. I'll still bake and have a big meal but I'm thankful that next year, we'll all be together again.

Florida

Well. We're happily in Florida...sadly it's less sunny Florida and more tropical storm Florida but we expect clear skies again soon. The drive took a total of 18 hours...4 to get to Grandma's house-normally only takes 3 but we had a few stops in town before we could really hit the road. Once we had Grandma in tow, we drove overnight (so the kiddos would sleep more) 14 hours to Nana's house. I'm so proud of my kids! We only stopped 3 times for gas, diapers and nursing and neither of them had a meltdown the whole time.

After arriving at Nana's house, we did what we always do with Grandma (my mom), Nana (my aunt) and GG (my grandmother)...we went shopping. For hours. Surprisingly, both kids did ok-not as great as the drive out because they were fed up with their car seats but overall really good. We got back to Nana's house where we had left Bubba, our Rhodesian Ridgeback. Less than an hour after being back, Bubba fell in the pool and was struggling to get out. I ran barefoot outside hoping I wouldn't have to jump in and save him since I suck at swimming and he almost weighs as much as I do but thankfully my cousin Tommy was home and got to Bubba first. Bubba was clinging to the side of pool and Tommy just scooped down and yanked him out. Nana told us that dogs often drown in pools because they fall in and don't know how to get out but from the look of it Bubba understood the concept of get to the side which gives me some peace of mind but Bubba is worse at swimming than I am-which says a lot! He doesn't kick his back legs...he just sort of flails his front so his bottom half sinks and all that stays above is his little nose. It's pretty pathetic. So, yesterday we went shopping and I bought Bubba his very own lifevest. He loves it and although thankfully he hasn't fallen into the pool again, he's safe if he does. 

Memorial Day

I knew I wanted to do a Memorial Day post...it almost feels like I need to but now that I'm sitting down to write what today is really about I'm not sure I have the words anymore.

Granted, today is a day when families come together BBQ, swim and just have a good time. I think that's great but I hope everyone remembers why they can do that. Men and women have given their lives so that we have the freedoms we so easily take for granted. Today is about remembering their sacrifice and the families they left behind.

For me and every other deployment wife or husband, in addition to honoring the dead and wounded, today is another day that we hold our breath and wait for next year's Memorial Day when our loved ones will be home enjoying a BBQ and taking kids swimming.