Real Life is Scary

We're starting to get back into the swing of real life. Everything is still a little surreal but I've been so impressed and amazed at how well Joshua has done with the transition. He's learned to balance being a parent of two quicker than I expected and if I was totally honest, I'd say he's done it quicker than I did. We've enjoyed just hanging out, going on dates and spending time with friends. In many ways everyday since he's been home has been like a weekend...Saturdays and Sundays over and over. It's been wonderful but it's also been expensive and not very productive-both of which are totally fine by me. The time has gone faster than I wanted...there were a dozen other things I wanted to do and places I wanted to go before real life crept up on us but I think it's been exactly what it's needed to be and now, it's time to get to real life again. Joshua is slowly starting back at work and as of Monday, I'll start doing what I normally do...kids, sports/lessons, blogging...you know, the stay at home gig. We're shipping the boy to his Grandma's for the weekend and having some time alone with the baby.


Last night, as we were starting to come out of this deployment honeymoon and back into reality, Joshua and I were talking about the boy and what we want to do academically with him. We have one month before the public pre-K enrollment begins. Where we live the public elementary system is great but we've never been big on the idea of a public education in general. I've gone from being totally anti-homeschooling to preferring it. But it's intimidating. Really intimidating. In our research into homeschooling and the MANY different ways to do it, we've come across that ever-important homeschooling guide...A Well-Trained Mind. We've read through the applicable areas and a few other homeschooling books that advocate other methods but have come to the conclusion that we are solidly on board with the classical curriculum route. With a classical curriculum most of the real instruction begins in 1st grade. Pre-K and Kindergarten are used to introduce reading and phonics. So the first step for us is to introduce reading...maybe introduce reading is the wrong terminology because we've been reading to the boy since before he was born but we haven't made a concerted effort to really explain phonetics and explain all the letters. We've just let him lead the way-which btw is another homeschooling educational philosophy...it's called unschooling and although we were content with it up until now (the boy's three and a half) it's not a method we want to use throughout his education. At the same time, we don't want to just jump into a rigid academic schedule. We want to introduce reading but reading, in my opinion, is a lot like potty training. If you push it too early, it's only going to end up in disaster for everyone if the kid isn't ready. Some kids are just ready sooner than others. So, I ended up with an amazon cart with a handful of helpful phonics workbooks but I didn't order them last night because I wasn't sure the boy was ready. And then, this morning the first thing he said to me was "Mommy will you help me read my Elmo book..." not, "will you read it to me." It may be a small difference but to me, it was huge. It was confirmation. He's ready...or at least, he's open to reading on his own so I'm going to order the phonics workbooks. Gulp.


My stomach is in my throat and I'm scared I might fail him but I guess that's real life and it's time to embrace it. Can't be worse than deployment...right?!

Book Review: I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced

Well, the title pretty much tells the whole depressing story. I think the worst part is that it's not hard to imagine an uneducated, impoverished child being given to a 30 year old pedophile. The true life story took place in 2008 in Yemen and one of the main reasons I borrowed this book from the library was because it's a newer edition with an epilogue updating Nujood's story. She's still not even a teenager yet. To summarize, Nujood's family lived in abject poverty and like two of her sisters before her, she was sacrificed for the family's honor. At least that was one reason given. The truth lies probably closer to the fact that her father was a drug addict who couldn't afford to feed both his wives and his many children. It was easier to get rid of her and all it took was a pervert to "promise" not to touch her until "the year after her first period." How is even that age...13?, 14?, 15? acceptable??? In the two years since this amazing child and I say child, despite Hilary Clinton calling Nujood "one of the greatest women (she's) ever seen" or Glamour Magazine naming her as Woman of the Year, she's still a child. Please, don't misunderstand, I respect and am in AWE of what that little girl did. She knew what was happening to her was wrong and she broke taboos in a country where grown women are killed, legally, for less. She ran away. She took a bus and a taxi by herself and she found the courthouse. She refused to leave until someone heard her...until someone would help her. But in the end, if her husband had said "no" and refused to allow the divorce, she would have had essentially no recourse. She lives in a country where women are often barely more than property. I don't consider myself a feminist but maybe that's because I live in a country where I can vote, I can own property, I can get divorced or sleep with a man who isn't my husband (I won't but I could) without fear of a death sentence. The women who came before me and fought for those rights should be honored just as Nujood should. The epilogue that I was so excited to read (who doesn't love an update) was disappointing at best. Yemen doesn't have a foster care system...it doesn't have a child welfare program. As a result, after her divorce (btw, both her husband and father were released without so much as a slap on the wrists), she was forced to return to her father's home. She did so, in her own words, to "protect" her younger sisters but I wonder how successfully she'll be able to protect them when her older sisters weren't able to save her from their own fate. While several international donations came in and proceeds from her book were supposed to secure an education and a good future, it hasn't worked out that way. Her father became ill and Nujood can still do little more than write her own name. A painful reminder that not all Cinderella stories turn out the way they should.

Reading

I love to read. After having an unusually frustrating morning with the boy and complaining a bit on facebook, a friend recommended I read the book "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks. So, I decided to take a trip to the library. I picked up "Dear John" as well as "I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced" written by Nujood Ali with Dlphine Minoui (the unbelievable title caught my eye) and Laura Bush's new book "Spoken from the Heart."

The boy's frustrating morning came in part from allergies wreaking havoc on him so I was thankful when he took an exceptionally long nap for two reasons, 1-he was back to his cantankerous, fun self when he woke up and 2-I was able to finish "Dear John" while he napped.

It's not a particularly long book and I also was told it has been made into a movie but as I've never heard of it, I can't tell you how true the movie was to the book or really if it's even out on DVD yet. I can tell you my impressions of the book (keep in mind, that's all it is, my impressions...)

SPOILER ALERT-I don't expect to go into great detail especially about the ending but if you plan to read it or see the movie, just be aware there may be a spoiler or two to follow...

The main character/narrator, John (that's a Captain Obvious) is wonderful but I also saw several similarities between him and my husband so I'm probably biased. The good news for me is that my husband was able to overcome his rebellious ways long before the Army entered our life. My biggest complaint about this book is the object of John's affection, Savannah. I don't like her. I think she's weak and selfish. She reminds me of co-dependant mil-spouse/girlfriends who can't live without their service member and use that pain to justify pouring their heart into someone else. It never makes sense to me...it's not healthy to cry about your boyfriend (or husband) to another guy. I don't understand why this book is considered romantic when in the end (ok, here's a spoiler for sure) the two people who truly love each other aren't together because one chose to stay in the military and the other didn't wait. Savannah's selfishness reminds me of Catherine from "Wuthering Heights." I really just don't like her but perhaps, if the book was from her perspective I could be more empathetic and since I know nothing of the movie, it may be totally different and I sort of hope it is.

The boy is asleep for the night and I'm now really looking forward to diving into the other two books I picked up. I plan to start with "I am Nujood, Age 10 and Divorced"...in addition to the title a quote from Hilary Clinton on the cover of the book caught my eye, "One of the greatest women I have ever seen...She set an example with her courage." The word "women" struck me. There is a 10 year old girl in my life whom I love dearly. She's smart and funny and strong but she is not a woman. I'm super curious to read Nujood's story and will be sure to tell you about it as soon as I can.