Duct Tape and Mittens

I have a confession.

I love politics. 

I know. It's horrible. But I was in debate in high school and it got me hooked. I can't help it. 

As much as I love politics, this little magical blog has been a politics-free zone because over the last few years it seems like politics has gone from what the Brits so cleverly call a battle with the "loyal opposition" to dirty, divisive, vicious attacks...on both sides. And don't get me started on the whole 3rd party shenanigans. 

Anyway, I may love politics but I love my friends and family more. I am (shockingly) conservative...who would have guessed? A stay-at-home/homeschooling mother of two who lives in the middle of Oklahoma and is married to a Soldier...conservative? huh. BUT, I also have family and many friends from college and childhood who are very liberally-minded. They're not anti-military, hippie, communist nuts and we're not greedy, war-loving, hateful crazies but that's what this race has painted both sides to be. Are there anti-military, hippie communists on the left? Absolutely. Are there greedy, war-loving, hateful crazies on the right? Absolutely (although I can't imagine any milwife who loves war).

This race has become so heated. I've become so angry and disillusioned with our President and the way he has treated the military that there are days when I want to go off on facebook and twitter and here and in all caps announce what I really think of this commander in chief...but then I remember that would only fuel the hatred and division. Come Tuesday...or Wednesday...or whenever the final vote is counted (PLEASE GOD, NOT ANOTHER GORE/BUSH FIASCO!), our nation will have a President for four years. Whether that's four more or four new, I honestly have no idea. But in the meantime, I plan to duct tape my mouth shut and put mittens on my hands to keep me sane for the next four days.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

A commercial came on (which is a rare event in our house-usually the boy is only allowed to watch movies or dvr'd TV and I never have time to watch TV live) and the boy's reaction took me by surprise. He was watching Beauty and The Beast live on the Disney Channel. The commercial was for the Joining Forces Campaign with the first lady and a couple Disney stars-I have no idea who they are...some teeny bopper boy band or Hannah Montana actors-is that even still on?-I'm not sure but thankfully we're not at that stage yet so I don't have to know such things. 

I tried to find a youtube clip of the commercial so you could see it but I couldn't find it. Most of the commercial was the two young Disney stars talking about what it's like to grow up in a military family...the good and some of the bad. Mrs. Obama then made her plea to go to the White House's Joining Forces website. 

Anyway, the boy was glued to the TV and I could see the wheels turning so when the commercial ended, I paused the TV and waited for him to say whatever it was that he needed to say.

Boy: "I don't like that."

Me: "Ok...what don't you like?"

Boy: "Their Daddy was gone."

Me: "Yes. Their Daddy was a soldier like your Daddy. They're a military family and sometimes military families like us have to be away from each other."

Boy: "I don't want to do that anymore."

Me: "Me neither little man. What would make you feel better?"

Boy: "Popcorn chicken."

Me: "That I can do." 

So that's what we did. Sometimes I think I forget how hard this is on the boy because he's handled it so well. It's easy to mistake his ability to deal with the deployment as him being ok with the deployment. Other times I think I delude myself into believing he doesn't understand it when I know even without days like today that he understands it better than I do sometimes. He knew what would make him feel better and he let it work. We had popcorn chicken and now, he's scaring off an imaginary dinosaur from attacking his sister. 

Airport Safety

So, although I could very easily spend an entire post blogging about my opinions on the legalized groping pat-downs or the pornographic security pics  body scanners and how the TSA hasn't actually stopped anything from happening, I'm not going to...instead I want to tell you about my son's experience flying with his Grandma from the middle of the country to his Nana and GG's house in Florida and back again.

Before he left (being the Type A freak that I am), I packed an envelope with his birth certificate, medical insurance card and a letter granting my mother (Grandma) and/or my aunt (Nana) the permission to take him and make any and all necessary emergency medical decisions which may arise during the time he was away. He turned three on his little vacation and I knew he wouldn't be able to verbalize to a TSA agent or doctor that although his Grandma has a different name, she was allowed to take him. Also, I strongly suspect the boy will be "that kid" who ends up at the ER at least once a summer because grace and gentleness aren't really his thing.

Here's where I have a problem. They never needed the documentation. On the medical side, I'm relieved...the kid made it through a week without me-in a not-so-child-proofed house with a pool and only came back with a few scratches on his forehead which no one seems to know how he got...I can live with that. But TSA...the great airport security never checked to see that the random adult with him who claimed to be his Grandmother actually was his Grandmother and had permission to take him. Granted, it was a domestic flight but it was over 1000 miles from home and how in the world did they know the name she gave them for the boy was even his name?! They never even requested his birth certificate.

So how safe are our children with TSA if anyone can take them anywhere in the country without a second thought?

We don't matter.

It's a hard pill to swallow and it may be pessimistic but the reality is that to many Americans, military families just don't matter. Whether they're republicans or democrats, wealthy or poor, unless they have a service member in their family or as a good friend, they don't care. Sometimes, not even then. They don't educate themselves politically. They don't send care packages. They don't check on military families in their own neighborhoods. I would hazard to guess that they don't even realize we're still at war. By the way, WE'RE STILL AT WAR.

Regardless of the political language, there are still Americans fighting and dying for this country. There is a giant, grand canyon sized divide between the military and civilian worlds. How many Americans (outside military families) can answer the following questions:

What is a blue star family?

What is a gold star family?

What does it mean to PCS?

Can you locate Iraq or Afghanistan on a map?

These are the most basic things to any military family and so many civilians can't answer them. Should military families reach out more. Yeah, probably but why don't more Americans educate themselves? Why do so many bury their heads in the sand and ignore what's happening around them?

I had a college friend post on her facebook "So why does my TV have a countdown to "government shutdown" in the bottom left corner of the screen?"

It's a big deal people.

I don't care what side of the political spectrum you fall on. I don't care if you're shouting that Obama is the next Messiah or he's the anti-Christ. In fact, I prefer it....shouting for either side to silence. I'm tired of people not caring. I'm tired of the lukewarm attitude towards politics because it matters. It's my husband's life. It's our family's livelihood.

Step up, educate yourself and make a decision. Any decision.

Then again, most of the people this is directed towards, will never read this because I'm just another military wife complaining and we don't matter.

Weekend Warrior

Just fair warning...most of this post will be a vent.

I just read an article about a politician who was an Army National Guardsman. Whether I agree with this particular politician or not, the thing that bothered me about the article was the way the author portrayed Guardsmen in general. In an attempt to apparently discredit the politician, the author wrote:

"Remember, he wasn’t a real soldier, he was nothing but a weekend warrior… he couldn’t take a couple years off to serve his country… he had a “real life” to lead."

Not a real soldier? Ok. Fine. I don't know this particular politician's military record but it just got under my skin because maybe there was a time when members of reserve components weren't as often activated or critical to war efforts as they are now but the point is they are now and I for one, as a Guardsman's wife would like the "weekend warrior" stereotype to stop.

By the time my husband returns from this deployment, including R&R leave, he'll have spent a total of 17 of the previous 24 months serving his country, away from his family, most of which in a combat zone...how much more real does it get?

Granted, Guard and Reserve families don't have to PCS. They usually don't deploy as often or for as long but we face other issues that active duty families never do. We, for example, live more than an hour from any military installation. We don't have the support of either a military facility or even just another family (offline) who really understands what we're going through. We face knowing that we're very lucky my husband has a job with a company which supports the military but many of his fellow Guardsmen and women are not as fortunate.

Please don't misunderstand, in no way do I mean to say that it is more difficult to be a member of a reserve component. I can't say how thankful I am not to have to PCS and to have my husband home (in general...or at least I will in the future) more often than if he were an active duty member. I'm just tired of the "weekend warrior" rhetoric. It's archaic. It's inaccurate. And it's offensive.