Thankful for 30

A little over a month ago I turned, hold your breath, 30. The funny thing is that several of my friends have asked how I'm doing with it like it's some terrible medical diagnosis. It's not and I'm good but I am officially old. Not because I'm 30...30's not old...heck, 40's not even old in my book. No, I'm old because I've always been old. 

When I was a child, I preferred to eat and talk with adults rather than other children. When I was a teenager, I was lost. I didn't understand teens around me...the things they obsessed over and did for fun. Don't get me wrong, I was a stupid teen like most others and did (and wore) ridiculous things to fit in sometimes but I didn't actually want to. Then, in college, I never really got into the party, club-hopping, dating-around scene (apart from about six months after I turned 21 which was more than long enough for me to realize it wasn't my thing).

My 20's often felt like they were filled with "supposed to's"...like I was supposed to want a career and a higher college degree because I'm a "modern woman" and getting married at 22 was not what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to want to "have a life" before I had children of my own. I still remember telling one of my brother's that I was pregnant with my son (just before I turned 25) and his 30-year old response was "WHY?!" Granted, he grew up in California and I grew up in the mid-west so there are some socio-geographic influences. But, I always felt like I was supposed to act young because I was young. 

Turning 30 has come with a new found sense of freedom. I'm not old and I still have an active lifestyle but I don't have to act young. I can prefer to stay home and drink wine while playing a board game with my family. I can take a ceramics or a painting class with women twice my age and have a great time-not going to lie, some of those old birds are a little naughty!

I still want to look and feel 20-pretty sure that's one wish that won't change for a while, but I'm so glad I'm 30 now.

PS>Sorry if it's TMI but I went to the Dr yesterday and I have shingles. I guess there is a downside to getting older. 

O-N-E

We did it! Tomorrow is the girl's first birthday! We have managed (assuming nothing happens between NOW and midnight) to keep our little daredevil princess alive for the first year. We opted to not do a big 1st birthday party for several reasons but mostly because we wanted to just have time as a family of four. It's something we were unable to do when she was born because of the deployment so last weekend (Wednesday birthdays are the worst!) we had a Princess Day. I took some 1 year photos...

And afterwards, we took the kids to get lunch at a local, whole-in-the-wall, super yummy BBQ place. Don't try telling our Princess that BBQ isn't very Princess-like...she LOVES it!

Lunch was great and as a treat to both kids, we took a trip over to the Disney Store where our sweet, selfless little man wanted to spend ALL his birthday money on presents for the girl. We allowed him to buy a couple little things for her but encouraged him to save his money or buy something for himself.

Love. That. Boy!

Sunday night we came home and had cake. Our little ladybug birthday princess started out slow. After ripping a piece off the cake and trying to put it back together, she slowly tasted it...the slow didn't last and it wasn't long before she was face-first in the cake...

Adventure Is Out There! Part 1

I'm back.

Mostly.

We're home but it's been a crazy week and a half and I have a ton to do to catch up so don't expect to see me online much over the next few days. Just thought I'd drop a line to show off some pics and tell you what we've been up to...or at least start to...

It started with the boy's birthday Saturday the 23rd. We spent the day kind of low key just as a family doing basically whatever the boy wanted. We had popsicles for breakfast, flew some kites and saw Brave in the local theater. It was a great day. Sunday was the big bowling birthday party day. There were lots of friends and family there but the most important thing to us was that our little man had a great time.

(SO EXCITED!)

(it helped the ball to go faster if you yelled "GO BALL GO!)

(you have no idea how much coercion it took to get this picture...he's 4 now, pictures are a waste of time in his mind when there's so many other things he could be doing)

(the boy and one of his favorite friends...he will do ANYTHING she tells him to)

(the party was over).

As soon as the party ended, the kids loaded up in my parent's truck and Joshua and I took off for a date night. It was great. We went out to eat, did some shopping and made it home in time to get to bed early because the next morning we were up HOURS before the crack of dawn to hit the road and visit our best friends in El Paso (you might recognize JG from Me and My SoldierMan). It was a blast! They're the kind of friends you can do just about anything or even nothing with and still have a great time. We didn't have a lot of time but the time we spent there was great. We went out to eat a few times. We hit the gun range...

(Joshua shooting his buddy's rifle)

(JG shooting her husband's rifle)

(me shooting SoldierMan's .22...LOVED IT!)

(me and my favorite gun...it's the .40 Joshua bought me for Valentine's Day a couple years ago...nothin' says love like a semi-automatic Smith & Wesson)

(Joshua and SoldierMan...I only wish we all lived closer)

Going to the range...regardless of what state we're in, is just something we love to do and going with friends like JG and SoldierMan make it that much more fun. We did more fun things in El Paso, came home and continued the adventure but I'll write about the rest tomorrow...this post is getting too long and my to do list is threatening to yell at me howler-style.

24 hours

The next 24 hours will be a bit crazy for me.

1st-I have a perinatology (high risk OB) appointment. These appointments are always a difficult combination of stress and excitement. I get 3D ultrasounds every time (YAY!) but they're monitoring me for a few reasons...most importantly right now there are two, baby girl hasn't been gaining as much weight as they would like especially since I have a high chance of premature labor and also, they are checking to see if the echogenic bowel (her kidneys are showing up brighter on the ultrasound than they should) will clear up because otherwise it's a soft marker for a chromosomal defect like Downs or cystic fibrosis. Like I said stress/excitement.

2nd-I get my baby boy back (FINALLY) today. He spent a LONG weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's house because I was starting to have too many contractions and not getting enough done around the house. We're not the type of parents that regularly send the kid to his Grandparent's house (not that we couldn't, they're great) but we just don't. This is only his 2nd time away for more than a night. Mom-guilt hit the day he left (he had to say goodbye to Daddy a month ago and now I'm abandoning him too) but overall, I really enjoyed the peace and solitude. I think it might have been the longest I've been alone...other than the dog...since we had the boy. It's strange how having a kid, nursing and the Army converge to never leave you alone-time.

3rd-Joshua will, at some point in the next 24 hours, call me to pick him up. Yup. He will start a VERY short leave and they will be back in the state and able for release soon...I'm really hoping he'll call before midnight since armory where I'll have to pick him up is a little over an hour away and the boy will be with me.

4th-It's my birthday tomorrow. Normally I would never shamelessly promote it because I wouldn't want to seem like I'm just desperate for birthday shout outs ...but last year, Joshua missed my birthday and next year he'll likely miss it again (both courtesy of the US Army) so it's kind of cool that his one mini-leave happens to be on my birthday.

Joy & Sorrow

Last weekend I went out for my birthday to a fantastic little restaurant with a handful of my favorite ladies but as excited as I was to go, as I was driving to dinner, I got a little teary-eyed. It seems like the happier I am and the more fun I'm having, I more that little part of my heart that's missing aches. There's something just unbearable about going out and having a great time but not being able to come home and tell Joshua about it. Don't get me wrong, it was EXACTLY what I needed-a night with yummy food and a hotel with no baby monitor. I'm blessed to have amazing friends and family who have supported me throughout this little adventure.

Today, we had a playdate at the zoo. Sadly, one of the moms who was planning on joining us wasn't able to make it because she is most likely having a miscarriage. She's scheduled to see her doctor tomorrow to know for sure but hearing her pain puts so many things into perspective. Running errands after the zoo with a fussy kid who wouldn't listen didn't have the same frustration it might have otherwise. If you can, please say a prayer for my friend (I'm not posting her name as many people didn't know she was pregnant).

When we got home, waiting in the mailbox was the much anticipated 1st letter from Joshua. He's never been much of a writer and the lack of sleep is pretty obvious from his letter but he sounds happy to be there, a bit lonely and definitely looking forward to doing more "fun" stuff but overall well. He says he only gets about 45 minutes a night of down time and it's not really down time because there are alot of things he has to get ready for the next day. In fact, the last third of the letter was written after he said they had turned out the lights.

I miss my husband and I mourn for my friend but I know he will be home soon and she will have peace and joy again.

An Almost Perfect Day

It's my birthday, yay. My son not only didn't have any nightmares last night (something he's been struggling with since Joshua went left for BCT) but he also slept in a bit.

The weather was perfect-mid 70's and not too windy so we bagged our lunches and walked to the park. When we got home, we both took a nap and woke up with enough daylight left to play with the dogs in the backyard...it was adorable...he just had shorts on and just ran around chasing the dogs with a sippy cup of milk in one hand and a stick in the other.

Thanks to everyone for all the kind birthday wishes...it was a great day (just shy of perfect with Joshua gone).