I'm Back...again.

I'm probably the worst blogger ever when it comes to unexplained blogging sabbaticals. I haven't written since JULY! How crazy is that?! Here's the thing, stuff happened. I probably won't go into great detail on all the "stuff" but I'm back and here's a quick run down of what we've been up to...

*Most importantly, I'm still pregnant. We had a couple complications  (given my history, no real surprises there) but everything is going well now and I'm already huge which is good...mostly. 

*Joshua has a new civi job...this one takes a little explanation. His old civi job fired him. Yup. Fired. He's never been fired before and despite the fact that they always gave him glowing reviews and he's never had a complaint, they fired him...basically, they were tired of having to work around his Guard schedule and responsibilities so when he came back from his two week AT, they let him go. I wasn't surprised because they've been anti-military since day one but I was angry and if I think about it too much now, I'm still angry...but I'm also grateful. He hated that place. They were HORRIBLE. Not everyone who worked there of course but yeah, horrible is the only word for it. Just to give you an idea of the atmosphere, before he deployed they were interviewing people for an open position and he overheard one of the managers say that there was "no chance in hell we're hiring that guy-he's another Guard guy and that's the last thing we need." Then, when Joshua returned from deployment, several of his co-workers thought it was funny to surprise him with loud noises just to see if they could make him jump. Classy, right?! Anyway, I say I'm grateful because his new job is better. I mean it's not hard to be better than his old job but it's WAY better. Like God did an awesome thing better. The hours are a little odd but we're good with odd and he enjoys the work.

*We've started with our new homeschool group and curriculum-Classical Conversations if you're interested. It couldn't be going better. I'm tutoring the 4/5 yr old class which has been a blast and the boy is amazing us with how much he's learning. Actually, our little 2 yr old princess is even trying to get in on the action sometimes.

(1st day of CC-our homeschool group which meets once a week and our 1st day of homeschool at home-yup, in pjs)

(our favorite project this semester...we created a multi-level eco-system...I plan to write a post with more details to come but if you want to build one yourself, you can find the step-by-step tutorial we followed here)

*I was asked to be a pattern tester for a new "ruffle top" which I loved making but unfortunately in the process my sewing machine died :( so now I'm at a bit of a standstill when it comes to sewing.

(here's the finished project...once the pattern is available for purchase, I'll post a link to it)

*The boy is, at this very moment, on vacation with his grandparents at Disney World. I'm jealous. I'm really jealous. But I'm also really pregnant and on travel restrictions...kinda going crazy with cabin fever. I have, however, enjoyed the one-on-one time with our princess. We switched some of the kids furniture around in preparation for Baby 3.0 so now the princess is in a big girl bed and loving it-still waiting to find out the gender but Joshua's trying to convince me not to wait so we'll see if that changes.

That's been us the last couple of months. I plan on spending the next week reading all the blogs I love and have been missing to get caught up on your lives!

PS>I just got a pic from Grandma of our little man and a couple of his cousins at Disney World's Pirate's League...so wish I was with him!

A Heart-Wrenching Good Day

Two years ago tomorrow I was in a hospital in Oklahoma with my mom while my husband skyped from Afghanistan for our daughter’s delivery.

It’s been on my mind a lot this week. In part, of course, because our baby girl is turning two but also because Joshua is once again-thanks to the Army, out of town. He’s not deployed-it’s just a short (anything less than a month is considered short in my book) training separation but he’s still gone. He’s going to miss her birthday and being pregnant again (read: super hormonal), I can’t help but remember the overwhelming feelings of that day two years ago.

I say overwhelming because even now, two years later, I don’t have any other words. I don’t know if there even is a word to describe that sort of emotion. When we first found out I was pregnant, we knew he was going to deploy “soon” but with the Army soon is relative. For a short time, we believed he would still be stateside and would be able to be home for the delivery. Then, the deployment dates changed-or at least our understanding of them changed. Lastly, we were told he would have the option, if we chose, to come home for his R&R during the delivery. It was an agonizing decision. If we had him come home, most of his time would be spent with me and our baby at the hospital and relatively little with our son. Plus, we’d see him for two weeks and not again for over nine months.

We made the “logical” decision. He missed the birth and met us two months later in Florida where our son would have fun even if Daddy was engulfed with the baby. It was the best thing for our son. Daddy didn’t come home and leave again. Daddy wasn’t spending all his time with the baby.

But the logical decision didn’t mean so much when I was alone in the hospital with a newborn. It was  hallow for the next two months as I thought about the worst case scenario…desperately hoping, even praying that if something was going to happen, let it be after R&R-let it be after they met. Morbid, maybe but it was my prayer.

Her birth was the most emotional day of my life. More than when Joshua returned. More than the day I got married. More than when our son was born and I became a mom.

It was a heart-wrenching, good day.

Surprise Announcement!

The reason for my frequent absence lately...

To say this pregnancy came as a surprise would be a MASSIVE understatement but after 12 weeks, 4 ultrasounds, 15 blood draws and a visit to the cardiologist (one I actually like-shocking in and of itself), looks like this one is in it for the long haul.

As shocked as we were...still are...we're also very excited! The boy couldn't be happier and the girl has really no clue.

When Words Are Gone

If you've read my blog for any amount of time or know me in real life, you know we've suffered multiple miscarriages. More than I care to think about much less discuss very often. But even with all my own experience, or maybe in part because of it, when someone I know goes through a miscarriage of their own, I'm often left speechless and numb.

This weekend, I found out that a childhood friend whom I respect and love lost her twin girls. At seven months. 

She lives too far away to comfort her in person and to be honest, I doubt she'd want me there. I wouldn't blame her. The emotions are so raw and so diverse. Anger. Indescribable heart-ache. Bitterness. Questioning. Numbness. Guilt. There's often no room left for anyone else. Most women don't want to deal with questions of how and why, other people's grief over her loss or platitudes about how it was "meant to be."

Granted, each woman grieves in her way and some may want solitude, some a grand gathering to distract her. Some want all traces of the child gone before she comes home from the hospital, some will cling to those reminders like a lifeline. All of that will sort itself out but only prayer and the Peace that surpasses all understanding can hold a woman together when her world has fallen apart. I've experienced it. I know what it's like to be totally destroyed and let the Lord put me back together. I've had friends and family hold me with their prayers and comfort me with their silence. I knew their hearts were with me when I couldn't be with them.

If you know someone going through a miscarriage  here's some tips (in my humble opinion) of what you can do to ease their pain...

*Remember the father. So many times people forget that he's grieving too. 

*If you're not in their inner-circle, leave them alone. Certainly pray for them and send a card or token if you'd like but now is not the time to flood a woman with acquaintances.

*If you are a part of their inner-circle, find out what they want. Talk to the father or mother of the mother. Do they want a group of people to be at their bedside, just a couple or even no one at all? Do they want to come home to the baby stuff or need it removed?

*Drop off food. It's so easy to forget to eat or not have the ability to cook when your grief doesn't allow you to think straight.

*Take your cues from the couple. Be there when they want you, go away when they want to be alone.

*Don't tell them that it's God's plan. Even if you believe it. Even if you know they believe it. Now is not the time.

*Just pray.

Our Princess

I am home from the hospital...our princess was born on Monday at 1:05 in the afternoon. There were a few complications but everything worked out great. I'll write a more complete post with details of the complications probably tomorrow but for now, the important things...

Joshua was able to skype in and see the delivery

The Princess is perfectly healthy

I'm recovering well

She's adorable...see for yourself...

T minus...???

Well...without giving gross details, all indications point to me going into labor sometime in the next couple of days. I've got the laptop and camera charged, bags packed and thankfully Joshua is no longer under a security black out (btw, that was not fun). In fact, our little princess seems to be an Army kid already. The black out lifted this morning (my time) and while chatting with Joshua, "things" began happening. Now, it's just a hurry up and wait (again, can you say Army kid) for the contractions to pick up. So if I'm MIA of a while, just assume I'll be back with tons of pics.

It's a surreal feeling knowing we're going to have two kids in a matter of days...possibly hours...hopefully days-days would work better for Grandma's schedule. I'm heartbroken Joshua is so far away but I know that even with him deployed, she's the luckiest little girl to have him for a Father. He's the kind of Dad that every little girl deserves...the kind of Dad I would have done anything to have myself...the kind of Dad every man should be.

I miss me.

I'm officially at that point in the pregnancy where I'm seriously considering wearing sweats and/or yoga pants all the time...as in out in public on a regular basis. It's not something I normally would do but being 5 weeks from delivery, I'm done.

I'm so tired of being a giant hormonal-blob-of-emotional-goo. It's time that this child come out and take all the excess estrogen with her. I feel sorry for my poor husband...though maybe this is the one time deployment during pregnancy is a good thing for him. Every time he calls I end up crying about something or making him tell me something he's already told me four times before because I've forgotten. It's absurd to be this forgetful and this emotional and it's not me. I'm not a crier. Ok...I kind of am a crier but not publicly and not like this. I've never been so insecure or illogically temperamental. It's really stupid. I'll cry about nothing and the whole time I'm crying I know it's totally illogical and unnecessary to be crying over whatever in the moment caused me to cry....I'm not just talking Hallmark commercials. I found myself crying yesterday on the way home because we went to walmart and the 17 yr old check out boy flirted with me. On the one hand...it was a little gross because let's face it, in my present state, I am not anything anyone should hit on but on the other hand it was really nice because I don't get that sort of attention anymore. Joshua's deployed and I'm a big, fat pregnant chick.

I don't like being pregnant. In fact I pretty much hate it...and before I get slapped with a ton of emails/comments about how pregnancy is miraculous and I'm just totally ungrateful....bite me. I've had three miscarriages...I KNOW what a blessing having a healthy child is and how much it hurts to desperately desire nothing more than to be pregnant.

In the end, I just miss being me. I miss being able to bend over without having a contraction...I miss trimming the hedges in front of our house (the lawn guy just doesn't have my type A/perfectionist attitude about how level and full the hedges should be)...vain moment: I miss my size 2 skinny jeans...another vain moment: I miss not having stretch marks...I miss not having to worry about whether or not I'm going to pee my pants...I miss having energy and a fully working memory...I miss sushi and alcohol.

Most of all, I miss my husband and the flexibility we had to be spontaneous and free...even after the boy came along. We've never been the kind of parents who needed to be home by 7 every night or couldn't go somewhere because we had a kid. If there's something we really wanted to do, we did it...we just worked the boy into the plans. He's flexible...we've never given him the option not to be but right now, I'm the one who's a stick in the mud and I can't stand it.

I just have to keep telling myself that A-she's more than worth it and B-only 5 more weeks.

Too much time=Tons of Tutus

I have an obsessive nature...shocking, I know. *dripping sarcasm.

I've managed thus far in my life to direct my obsessive nature into good outlets...vacation planning, photography, time with my husband, motherhood...all good things. And now I've found another...

With this deployment and being pregnant with a little girl, I've been thrown into a pink world and I've fully embraced it...somewhat to my own surprise. I'm not much of a girly-girl at least when it comes to clothes and accessories myself. I enjoy nice things and jewelry is fabulous but I'm a ponytail, jeans and make-up-only if I have time for it, kind of girl. But I love to create things. I love photography and designing pretty things.

So...I've gone overboard with baby girl's room...and loved every second of it. I'm also that mom who prefers my kids be dressed properly, as in matching, unwrinkled and unstained, even if we're just running to walmart...no judgement on anyone else-it's just my little OCD coming through BUT, I'm also the child of a hard working single mother who would have had a hard time going to the extremes I have with my kids' rooms and clothes so I know how blessed my kids are (and one of them isn't even born yet!). I do have concerns that they may grow up taking it all for granted. But I'll worry about that tomorrow...today, I shop...and decorate.

I've decided that instead of putting our daughter's name on the wall...as we did with our son and so many people do, I want to do something unique. I had already planned to buy a medium sized wall shelf to help take up room on a specific wall but now what I want to do is buy nine (the number of letters in her name) wallet sized photo frames. Then, I plan to print off each letter of her name on card stock, cut it out and put each one in a frame...cute, right?!

Well, in addition to decorating her room, I've taught myself how to make hair bows, head bands and tutus. Here's what I've done so far...

^ -The 1st Tutu I made and a matching hair puff clip

^ -Just a couple bows/barrettes...I need to get better at these...

^ -Tutu #2 (I like to call it the "I Love Lucy Tutu) and a matching hair puff (that I clipped onto a newborn hat just 'cause it's cute)

^ -Tutu #3...I love it when little girls wear blue (the pic doesn't show it very well-it was late when I took the pic and lighting limited but it's a purplish blue tutu with wisps of glittery white)

Tutus, bows and room decor have been a great deployment distraction and I look forward to making at least a few more before this pregnancy gets too tiring to stay up late cutting tulle and gluing clips.

24 Weeks

It's official. I am over 24 weeks pregnant. If you've ever had a miscarriage or a difficult pregnancy, you know what a milestone this is for our little family. Granted, it's still very early. It would not be good to go into labor today but just knowing that if I were to go into labor, the medical community would do all they could to save her and she would have a fighting chance of survival is more of a relief than I think can be said. This has been a week FULL of baby news for our friends and family. Three babies have been born with one more on the way...all four have amazing stories and equally amazing families.

Baby #1 came as quite a surprise for my old college friends. He's baby #3 for the family (the first boy) and he was a couple weeks early because mom had a placental abruption. They were in the middle of the mall and it sounds like it was pretty bloody and definitely scary. Thankfully, mom and baby are doing great...in fact baby boy is doing better than the doctors had expected and both will be home soon.

Baby #2 was also a surprise at least to me. An old childhood friend, he was the little brother of a guy I hung out with all the time and now, he's a dad. He has a beautiful little girl and I know he'll be a great dad...it's just a bit surreal.

Baby #3 came on Friday. He's my cousin's son and already has a special place in my heart. He's amazing...tons of hair and tons of him. He was born full term measuring 24 inches and weighing 10 lbs 7 oz. And she delivered vaginally. Yeah. That's a huge baby. He's apparently able to fit into some 3-6 month clothes already. When I heard his size, it dawned on me that he weighs just under TWICE what ALL three of the triplets weighed combined. (For those that don't know, before I got married, I was a live-in nanny for 3 years to a family with a set of triplets).

Baby #4 will most likely join us Wednesday. He or she already has a special story. Mom and dad have opted to be surprised with the gender but I'm hoping for a girl-their older two are boys and are great friends with our boy and selfishly, I'd love for them to have a girl to befriend our little girl. But gender surprise isn't the biggest surprise of this baby's birth. Mom is scheduled for a c-section. Dad is an Air National Guardsman on deployment. He was scheduled to come home today but as is so often the case, things changed. We're not sure when he'll be back now but baby 3.0 as the family has affectionately dubbed him or her will be born loved in that special way only a deployment family can know. My heart and prayers go out to dad and whatever mom needs, I'll be there. Even if it means dealing with a meconium diaper (something I've managed to avoid in all my years of both nanny and parenthood).

An amazing week to be sure. So many babies. So many stories.

Deployment Schedule

Well, we're getting back into the swing of our version of a deployment schedule. No one in our family is really a morning person except maybe my husband and even then, I'd just say he's more average than an actual early morning. Meanwhile, the boy, the dog and I all feel that anything before 8 or even 9am is pretty much wrong. As time progresses, at least the boy and I will have to adjust...first to baby girl and then in a couple years to the boy starting school (although we plan to send him to a blended private school where he'll actually be home-schooled all but two days a week). I sincerely doubt the dog will ever adjust. He doesn't even go out to do his morning thing sometimes until nearly noon. No accidents so I don't push it.

Anyway, we're living it up, night owl style. We usually have breakfast around 10am...or our version of it...again, not morning people and although the mother in me would love for my son to eat some homemade waffles or an omelet and turkey bacon every morning, it doesn't happen. I'm lucky if I can get him to eat a pastry, some yogurt and fruit but it's all about picking your battles and since even my husband's not a big breakfast person, I'm not surprised the boy isn't one as well. Lunch is usually early (to mid depending on the morning) afternoon and while Joshua's gone, it's quickly becoming our big meal of the day. Something I couldn't have done with Joshua here...his schedule just wouldn't allow for it. THAT is the one big benefit of deployment. The schedule is all mine. I don't have to clear things or arrange things according to my husband's civi job, the guard or his plans. It's all about whatever I want (well, whatever I want that will also work with the boy). Dinner usually starts with me staring in fridge and ends with leftovers or a quick sandwich and veggies.

Meanwhile, TV has become essentially non-existent at least in live form because I don't really believe in watching television, especially any sort of adult (meaning How I Met Your Mother and Criminal Minds, not bow-chica-wow-wow adult) television. I would never get to watch anything but cable news and late night hosts if it weren't for the DVR. A big ol' THANK YOU to whomever invented it...words cannot say how much I appreciate you-you have kept me entertained and somewhat sane. So instead of television in the evenings before the boy goes to sleep, I've been doing all the basic household stuff, shopping online (another sanity savior) and becoming more and more domestic. I have made baby girl's first tutu. It's pretty small and I hope to use it for her birth announcement pics but we'll see when she gets here. Here's a pic (sorry about the quality...camera phone pic and the dog decided to investigate the tutu-read: got his nose in and pushed the tulle around a bit...just as I took the pic).

This weekend, I'm hoping to clean out the bathroom cabinets (not a small project) and sew baby girl's new curtains. Like I said, this deployment schedule (and this pregnancy) are upping my domesticity.

Leave Update

This might be a bit long because we've done so much over this mini-leave. Joshua's on his way to the furniture store to pick up our new kitchen table set (yay!) so I have a couple hours to catch up on the week's activities because we live in the middle of nowhere so it'll be at least two hours before he's home again.

First of all, I'm home blogging instead of with Joshua to pick up the table set because the boy is still asleep...it's 2:00 in the afternoon. Yesterday morning, we drove about 3 hours to my parent's house because my Aunt came into town for her annual "beef pickup." Basically, my family lives in the middle of nowhere and has a couple cows slaughtered every year at which time my Aunt makes the 12 hour drive to fill her freezer with organic beef in various forms. This is the same Aunt who has in many ways adopted Joshua...I say that partly because she's more like a mother-in-law than an Aunt to me now-she always agrees with my husband and they enjoy ganging up to make fun of me and because she's now officially seen the boy more times than my real mother-in-law but that's a post for another day. We had a great day planning our next family vacation, holiday plans (requires a bit more planning when everyone is spread so far out) and getting excited about the new babies that are about to join the family (4 infants in about 3 months). After dinner with the family and the boy's Godparents, we went back to my parent's and played games until about midnight at which time we had to leave because we hadn't brought the dog with us. To our surprise, the boy stayed awake the ENTIRE three hours back to the house. Oh joy. So today I see him waking up, hopefully soon, and we'll obviously skip any nap and hope to get him back on track tomorrow.

Going back to this week though, I had two OB appointments. My high risk perinatology appointment on Tuesday (which went GREAT!) and my regular OB on Thursday which also went well.

Tuesday's appointment showed that the echogeneticity of baby girl's bowel is significantly less although not totally gone which is actually the best of both worlds because although it's barely present, I will (oh darn) have to have another 3D ultrasound next month....for free. Insurance rocks. Also, the ultrasound showed that the bleeding I was experiencing has pretty much gone away totally and so certain pelvic restrictions were lifted...8 hours before Joshua came home. Woohoo. That is all I'll say about that.

Here's a couple of my favorite shots from the ultrasound Tuesday.

I think she really looks like her brother and I can't wait to see what the next ultrasound will show because she'll have some more meat on her. For the record, I'm not offended  if you think 3D ultrasounds are a little creepy. A lot of people do...I've noticed it's especially true of men who don't yet have kids of their own. It's a strange fluid environment but as my little girl, I think it's awesome. I loved getting video of our son in utero sucking his thumb and now battling the same bad habit almost three years later.

Serious moment: it struck me, watching my daughter get annoyed with the poking and proding of the ultrasound that legally, because I have a heart condition which with pregnancy can be life-threatening, I have the legal standing for another week (almost two weeks after these pictures were taken) to request an abortion. It's unspeakable. I can't really imagine how anyone could look at those pictures and still tell me that she doesn't have the right to continue living. That somehow my rights outweigh her rights because she's not yet real? not developed enough to have rights?

Ok I need to stop. Serious moment over.

Wednesday we did the swim lesson thing with the boy and just hung out at the house.

Thursday was my 2nd OB appointment of the week and I found out that baby girl is in the 46th percentile for size which is pretty good because I've had a really hard time gaining weight. In fact, in a weird twist, I'm still not gaining enough pounds in general but my stomach is now measuring larger than the normal pregnant belly at this stage. For the record, I wasn't overweight to start with so it's not like the weight is just relocating. My OB said it's most likely because I only have about two inches from my ribs to my hips so what little there is of her, is sticking out, a lot.

That's about it for the leave update...lots of running around and having fun in between OB appointments. Good times.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

You're only a day away!

Ok, so it's a bit corny but it's how I feel today because tomorrow we'll go to my perinatologist and see our first 3D images of the baby. We've already had SEVERAL 2D ultrasounds (the only benefit of being labeled "high risk"). But tomorrow, we fully expect to walk away knowing the gender and it's so exciting. With our son the very first 3D image we saw was him "in all his glory." We moved on and got to see some amazing video  of him actually sucking his thumb...something he unfortunately still does. It's a work in progress.

I have a few friends who for various reasons have opted not to find out the gender and although I think that's awesome, I can't do it. At least not with this pregnancy because Joshua's deploying. He's going to miss the birth (I'm not quite ready to blog about that yet) and if it's a girl...oh the plans I have...much of which, Joshua will be required to do in the minuscule time he has before he leaves.

Back to more pleasant things: The first time I had to go to the perinatologist, I was so intimidated because he's that guy...the guy who takes care of the highest of high risks. I'm blessed that I expect to only see him a few times during my pregnancy and otherwise I'm able to see my "normal" OB. The office waiting room is different than any other I've been in. OB's are usually happy and bouncy rooms, my cardiologist's waiting rooms have generally been professional but sober but the perinatologist is some sort of weird mix of the two atmospheres. The wait times can exceed the appointment by hours because even with multiple doctors on hand, they have emergencies and you just wait. Nobody complains because everyone there is there for the same reason...something is wrong and they have to fight to have children. I'll never forget my first visit...although there's one aspect I wish I could. I wore a shirt which ended up making me feel worse than I have ever felt...like bottom of the barrel, scum of the Earth, bad just really, really bad. I wore a maternity shirt, surrounded by high risk pregnant women, many of whom have suffered multiple miscarriages and are at that office hoping desperately not to have another. The shirt read: I Can Grow People. It's a super cute maternity shirt from my favorite maternity boutique but it was the worst thing I could have possibly worn in that office. I spent the two hours waiting to be seen with my arms crossed high above my chest, hoping and praying that the wrong woman wouldn't read it and have her heart broken into a million pieces.

So, tomorrow, I will be wearing a much more boring, plain t-shirt and jeans and I'll get to see my little peanut. Eeek!

The Alien Within

Kid #2 is trying to kill me before he/she is even born.

That sounds fairly dramatic but I'm about 90% sure it's true. I don't have easy pregnancies. It's a fact but this one has taken the cake. I'm ready to be done but sadly I'm only 17 weeks along so I've got quite a ways to go. With the boy, the nausea wasn't fun and didn't end until around week 26 (yeah and it was worse in the 2nd trimester...I'm one of those special women). My heart was the big problem with the boy though. For those of you that don't know, I have what is essentially a very minor heart condition (as heart conditions go). It's called SVT for short. You may have heard of it because it's not terribly rare for pregnant women to develop SVT for a short time during their pregnancy. I've had it or had the diagnosis of it for just under 10 years. Long story short, it's an electrical problem and my heart beats irregularly. Mostly, it just causes a lot of pain and can lead to preterm labor if not properly monitored and controlled. So with the boy, I was placed on a couple different drugs...if you're really curious, it was digoxen and a beta blocker but most likely anyone reading this won't know or care what they are. They helped and the boy arrived right when we wanted him to arrive but it wasn't easy and it freaked out my husband more than I think I realized at the time.

Before I whine anymore, let me first clarify that I find pregnancy to be truly a gift from God and the most miraculous experience a woman can have. For me, it's just a gift that kicks my butt (hopefully) for 9 months before I can actually enjoy it.

As for this pregnancy, my heart has been great. That's about where to good times end though. The vomiting is worse...yeah. I didn't really think that was possible but for my first two OB appointments, I showed a fairly significant loss in weight instead of a gain which wasn't a surprise because I was essentially throwing up 5-7 times a day every day. Like with the boy, I tried everything to make the morning sickness go away. I started with the old school natural routes...real gingerale and crackers. Nada. In fact, real gingerale really burns coming back up. I've come to judge food and drinks by more than how they taste just going down but I won't gross you out further with that information. I quickly moved onto drugs. Finagrin was a waste of time and actually made me feel kinda loopy. My OB had me try it in EVERY form...oral pill, wrist gel (that stuff's weird) and the shot. Again, nada. Nothing helped until zofran. I love zofran. If you're unfamiliar with it, it's a drug primarly used to treat nausea and vomiting for surgery and cancer patients. Zofran managed to cut the vomiting down to only a couple times a day, 3-4 days a week. Not fun but totally manageable. Until the day I apparently threw up one time too many. I tore my esophagus and began vomiting blood. NOT FUN. So we took a trip to the ER and thankfully for a tear in the esophagus, it "wasn't bad." Oh good.

There have been other complications which have caused me to get a few shots in the bum and random pelvic exams that really aren't much fun but right now the priority, no matter how un-fun, is to keep the kid in.

My Favorite Things

Being a mom is the most comfortable, natural thing for me. I won't go so far as to call it easy, because it's not but it's often the only thing I feel truly good at...pretty much everything else I just sort of stumble through.

I've wanted to do a quick post about my favorite 'Mom' things for a while now because sooooo many new moms are clueless. If it weren't for the fact that childcare was my profession long before it was my passion (I nannied professionally for 5 years before having the boy), I would have wasted tons of time and no doubt money on stuff which was essentially useless. That being said, I don't plan to do tons of mom-reviews because every family is different and what works for one often doesn't for another. But, nonetheless, here's a list of my favorite things...

*Mylicon...if you have a kid, you understand. If you don't and your pregnant, buy two bottles. It's miraculous infant gas relief. I would've paid almost any amount for this stuff if/when our son needed it.

*Tummy Sleeve...also known by a few other brand names but basically these things helped me wear my normal every day pants all the way up through my last week of pregnancy which was great because often maternity pants are just ugly and the ones that aren't are easily $50-60 a piece. The only downside is that if you gain weight in your thighs easily or get super bloated in your legs, even a tummy sleeve may not be able to help

*AngelCare monitor...it's essentially like any other static monitor except that it has a second function. With the help of a motion sensor pad which easily goes under a crib or bassinet mattress, it has the ability to set off an alarm if the baby should stop breathing for 20 seconds. IT'S AWESOME!!! My biggest fear (and I know I'm not alone) was SIDS. This monitor is the ONLY thing which allowed me to sleep easy knowing that if something happened, I would know right away. The best part for us was that the static part (or traditional monitoring) was able to be turned off and we could use only the motion sensor while our son was in a bassinet in our room without the annoying static background and then as he got bigger we were able to turn off the motion sensor and use the monitor like any other (read: the little rug rat learned how to stand in the corner of his crib on his tip toes very still and purposely make the alarm go off in the middle of the night just to laugh at us as we ran in).

*Jogger strollers with a swivel wheel...they're awesome. They glide over almost any surface and are often so easy you can push with just one hand-which leaves the other hand open for talking on the phone or sipping some coffee. Swivel wheeled joggers generally still have the ability to lock forward for a more stable jogging experience but you also have the ability to just walk normally and not have to worry about tipping it up every time you want to turn. They are much heavier than an umbrella stroller and more expensive than other "normal" strollers but I will never go with another stroller that doesn't have jogger styled wheels (also sometimes called all-terrain wheels). Between nannying and our own son, I've used (on a consistent basis) SIX different strollers of all different kinds. This is the one we have now for our son. It's kept him occupied, been a comfortable place to nap, held all our baby necessities and easily maneuvered everything we've thrown at it from the beach to numerous trips to the zoo, science museum and mall to 10 days at Disney World last year.

(ours is slightly different in color)

*last but certainly not least, nipple guards...sorry if it's TMI but my child was a chomper from day 1 and it was highly unpleasant. Neither my husband nor I will forget my Day 6 meltdown. No one had told me such a wondrous invention as nipple guards even existed and so I sat in our bed crying from pain both physical and emotional as my husband offered to open the can of formula someone had given us and we had decided to keep as emergency back-up but instead (I'm extremely stubborn and was convinced SOMETHING would help) we went to Babies-R-Us and sat in the parking lot for an hour waiting for them to open. Once they did and I had the chance to talk to someone about our little problem, they knew just what to recommend and now I'm recommending it to everyone. They not only protect a very sensitive area for mom, they help teach baby how to suckle properly. I only had to use them a couple of weeks before both my son and I got the hang of things. I used them again when he began teething for a few weeks but in the end, I credit the guards with my being able to nurse our son until he was just over a year old (I quit on Independence Day weekend-it only seemed appropriate).