September 6, 2012

Taking a Time Out

This week has been insane. I've meant to do a Disney post but in getting us ready for our trip and having two sick kids (ear infections/allergies-happens the week before we go on vacation EVERY time), it just hasn't happened. But then in the midst of my packing frustrations, I got a phone call from a heart-broken friend that reminded me to slow down and be thankful. She and her husband have been trying for a long time to have a child of their own. If you've followed me for a while (or are a friend in real life) you know that we never struggled to get pregnant, our struggles always came with staying pregnant. It was a hard road, even when it was successful. Multiple miscarriages slowly ripped me apart. Once our son was born, I thought it was all in the past but then it happened again. 

I'll never forget that pain but sometimes in the busyness of life, I forget to be thankful that I am a Mom-we survived our own struggles with infertility. I know some people think that desiring to be a Mom isn't enough and that's fine. They should do all they can to live their dreams-whatever they may be but for me, the one thing I wanted most in this world was to have a family of my own.

Five years ago, I was frightened, pregnant for the third time after two miscarriages. We finally had a successful, albeit far from easy, pregnancy. And if we hadn't, another door would have opened. I can see that now. We would have found a way to have children and that's exactly what my friend and her husband are doing. Finding another way.

I don't know what our family will look like in another five years...if we'll try again (despite the emotional and health risks that exist) or if we'll pursue adoption and if so, what that route will look like but I do know that whatever obstacles we face, we'll get through it. Infertility and miscarriages have a way of either tearing a couple apart or binding them together stronger than before...kind of like deployment, actually. Joshua has been by my side (even when he was 7,000 miles away). He's my best friend and we have the two cutest kids. Ever. (I apologize to all other parents but seriously-they're super cute).

September 4, 2012


Who's spoiled and has two thumbs? This girl.

Joshua surprised me with a new prime lens over the holiday weekend and I've had a blast playing with it. It's a Nikon 35mm 1.8G

I went straight to work to compare the bokeh, clarity and colors to my other prime (a 50mm 1.8D) and to my kit lens (18-70mm). I have to admit, I love prime lenses. Don't get me wrong, I like my kit lens-it's a decent all around lens and allows a bit more zoom than most kits that only go to 55mm but I'm in love with the bokeh of my primes. When it comes to the 35mm vs the 50mm, it's nice to not have to back up so much when doing portraits of little ones to get it all in but the bokeh is stronger with the 50mm...which I think can be a good thing and a not so good thing, depending on what you're wanting. I'm looking forward to taking my new 35mm to Disney and seeing what develops (pun fully intended).

Meanwhile, I've kept myself busy today hanging out with a friend and her baby...aka using them to play with my new lens...

(he wasn't a fan of being on his stomach at all)