whew...busy day

The boy and I started our day about an hour and a half before we normally do but it was well worth it. The newborn shoot I had went super well...I've begun editing the pics and I'm feeling really good about it. Here's one that I particularly like...

Before the shoot, the boy and I had to go to Home Depot and Walmart (it's insane how much money we send at that store...I'm really considering buying stock in it). And afterwards, we went to a friend's house to help out. She had an event at church and her hubby's Air Guard away on his two weeks. So for about 4 hours, I had 3 boys under the age of 3...it sounds kind of frightening when you put it that way but it was actually a lot of fun. I loved seeing the boy (my boy) start to transition from parallel play to interactive play and holding the baby was a treat. An even better treat came as we pulled into our driveway....Joshua called! I was only supposed to be able to talk to him for half an hour but ended up getting almost 45 minutes. It's amazing how much those extra minutes mean.

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It was a long but great day, I only wish I had been able to partake in a "MilSpouse" BlogHop that a blogger friend I follow put on...sounded like a fun thing...next time for sure.

Pics

Tomorrow, I have a newborn shoot that I'm a little nervous about...the last newborn shoot I had wasn't too great. The baby was screaming pretty much the entire time and I ended up with only a handful of really quality shots. So, if you can, say a quick prayer because this isn't just any shoot, this is a newborn shoot for a friend and her baby girl...

Phantom Pain

Experts describe "phantom pain" in the most basic sense as "pain that's coming from a body part that's no longer there." That is the closest description I've been able to find for how I feel with Joshua gone. On a practical level, I know that my pain doesn't come close to that of those who loose a limb but emotionally, a part of me is gone. Every time I read a funny email and click to forward it to Joshua I'm reminded that he won't get it for months. Whenever the boy does something funny or frustrating like this morning when he (WARNING: IF YOU DON"T HAVE CHILDREN, THIS MAY REALLY GROSS YOU OUT, DON'T FINISH THE SENTENCE) took off his diaper and crapped in the corner...brought a whole new meaning to having a crappy day. The first thing I did, after cleaning up, was grab my phone. I hit the quick link button on the face of my phone to text Joshua and typed in "you will NOT believe what YOUR child just did." I had just finished typing the word "did" when it dawned on me that Joshua wasn't at work 2 miles away from our home as he used to be; he wouldn't come home at lunch and give me a mini-break to recover from the morning. It's been nearly two months but I still forget from time to time. He's 409 miles away (yes, I googled it) and the only way he'll know about today's little adventure is if I write him or remember to tell him the next time he calls. He's my best friend and before he left, we were that couple that rarely went out without each other. We're home-bodies and we'd rather stay home playing Monopoly (ok, I'd rather play Monopoly, he'd rather play Wii) than go out with other people. In fact, I think I used to like my occasional girl's night out so much because at the end of the night, I got to go home to him and the boy. I miss him and today the "phantom pain" is a little stronger than usual.

Bragging

I just got a surprise call from Joshua because his platoon won extra phone time by winning the marksmanship banner with the final test. He didn't do as well in the final test as he had in a previous qualifier, 33 out of 40 targets ranging from 50-300 yards instead of the 39 out of 40 he had done previously but he also had pink eye today. So, for him to qualify at sharp shooter with pink eye is, in my opinion, pretty awesome. I'm very proud of my soldier tonight, as always.

Lists

To say that I have a "Type A" personality would be a massive understatement. My mom has told me (and I vaguely recall) that when I was a child and had to stay home from school either because of illness or just a school holiday, I would write out my schedule which in and of itself isn't that surprising but the thing is, I did so before I knew how to write. I would take my chicken scratches to my mom and explain that I would be waking up at 7am, quickly followed by getting dressed...I had the whole day mapped out. Not much has changed in the last 20-some odd years except now my lists are color-coded and on much cuter stationary. I have 2 dry erase boards in my kitchen, a magnetic notepad on the fridge, and there's always a notepad in my purse/diaper bag. There are two more pads next to the computer, one on the cocktail table in our living room and finally one on the nightstand on my side of the bed. I never thought my love affair with lists could get much worse and then Joshua left for BCT. Now, I keep an on-going list of what I really want to talk to him about for whenever the next phone call may happen-I started that after the first 10 second call. I also keep a list of what I want to write him about...the fun, cute things the boy does, the annoying things the dogs do and the things I'm looking forward to doing together when he's home again. Don't get me wrong, I write him every day but I've discovered that if I don't write it down in the moment, no matter how quickly I get to his letter, I end up forgetting something. I recognize that my lists are all just a not-so-subconscious way of controlling the situation even when the situation isn't really in my control. So many times over the last month and a half, I've felt out of control...not a feeling that sits well with me but I'm learning, slowly, to adjust. I'm learning to let go and try not to stress.

Alien Boys

When you get married, everyone tells you to expect to learn "new" and sometimes "odd" things about your spouse-especially when you don't live together first as was the case for my husband and I. For the most part, I got exactly what I expected...he didn't leave the tube off the tooth paste or forget to put the toilet seat down. He is in most respects, very easy to cohabitate with but there was one thing I discovered that has boggled my mind for years...it's just weird. Joshua, my hubby, HATES having water in his ears. Ok, I'm sure you're thinking, that's not so weird, right? Well, I agree, it's what he does to solve the problem of water in his ears that I think is just bizarre. He likes to take a couple Q-tips and stick them in his ears...still, not so strange...but then he walks around the house with them sticking out of his head like little alien antennae for as much as 20 minutes...yeah, and HE makes fun of ME for being a Trekkie...he looks like he could be on Star Trek. Again, in and of itself, no big deal, right? Wrong. Because tonight, after the boy had his bath, I caught him take a couple Q-tips, stick them in his ears and walk away. This was not the first time he has mimicked his father's bizarre habit but I had hoped that this particular habit would disappear while Joshua was away. Now, I'm afraid one day I'll have to warn some lucky girl that the amazing guy she loves will from time to time, look like an alien.

Evil Ebay Seller

Ok, I'm going to the mattresses (my hubby would be so proud of me for using that phrase) with an ebay seller. Two weeks before Easter, I purchased a new outfit for my little boy which was listed as "nwt toddler EASTER outfit" complete with super cute plaid shorts, white polo and a matching plaid hat (which I knew the child would refuse to wear but it was so cute I couldn't resist). The day after Easter, I left a comment saying that I was disappointed that the outfit had never arrived and I would probably not be using the seller again. An hour later, I received an email saying it had been shipped but it didn't have a tracking number...ugh. Ok, whatever...it's not like I needed it for Easter...I just wanted it. Well, that was OVER two weeks ago and it has still not arrived so I "officially" opened an Ebay case-whatever that means. By the time this thing arrives, if it ever does, the kid will be too big for it.

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The thing that's the most frustrating for me is that normally Joshua takes care of stuff like this. He's the one to call and complain or talk to a manager. Sure, he does it because I ask him to-he's so laid back, I don't think it would even occur to him to complain if it wasn't for me (...which makes me wonder if I'm a bad influence on him...but that's a topic for another day). He's just better at it than I am. I tend to get emotional and then I end up saying something stupid. Luckily this customer service issue is online so most of the communication is emailed but I still wish Joshua was here to do it. It also makes me appreciate companies and places like Walt Disney World that much more-they're amazing when it comes to customer service. Don't get me wrong, things don't always go perfectly but when problems occur, they go above and beyond to fix it.