With their miracle baby just a couple years old, they got divorced this spring. Between the Army and the fact that they live several hours from us, we hadn't been able to visit them in over a year and a half. Our friendship had slipped to an online-only type of friendship so when I saw my friend's wife's relationship status change to "divorced," I was in shock. I didn't know what to think. I love my teddy bear friend but I had also grown to love his wife.
Immediately, I decided I was going to be neutral. I was going to be Switzerland. I loved them both and secretly hoped they would work it out. However, I was also prepared to accept and even befriend new loves for each of them down the road but down the road came much sooner than I expected. What felt like moments after their divorce was finalized, my old friend was engaged to someone else. I know what his first wife believes happened with their marriage but I also know there's two sides to every story and a marriage doesn't fall apart because of just one person's failings. That being said, when I look at facebook photos and see him sitting with his new fiance and her daughter, my heart breaks. I can't help but remember him with his first wife and their baby girl.
I always hated when people would talk about "choosing sides" in a divorce but I guess I kind of get it now. It's not that I want to choose a side. It's that I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at my friend the same way again. The only thing in my life that I can equate it to is being pregnant when a friend is having a miscarriage or visa versa. I want to be happy that my old friend is happy and seems to have found someone he loves but I'm heart broken for his first wife, their daughter and the life that they had together.