Last night I read a blog not written by but posted on facebook by a homeschool mom I know (for the record I'm very pro-homeschool) about the parenting of teenage boys...ok, granted, my son is about ten years away but it was one of those articles that you have to read twice to really believe. For the record, I don't know the author and have never read her blog before this post.
Basically in the blog post the author advocates that mothers of teenage boys refrain ALTOGETHER from enforcing discipline or correction...that should be solely their father's place. The example given is a messy bedroom but the author goes on to say "I don’t just mean the messy room but ALL of your young man’s discipline and accountability."
Now I've heard the argument made before that teens are at an age where discipline is less necessary and that in general parents should guide their teens but allow more natural consequences to take root...for example, if you don't set your alarm and wake yourself, you'll be late for school or work or wherever you needed to go which I can see as an valid step to adulthood but that's not what this author is saying. She essentially goes on to imply that the reason mothers should back off is that it's not a woman's place to correct a man. And most surprising to me, she argues that it will negatively impact his relationship with his future wife...daughters...all the future women in his life. She believes women should "Instead of cleaning, nagging, lecturing, hassling, belittling, derailing, fussing, fuming, arguing, undermining, complaining, comparing, and tearing down - You are now free to spend the rest of your precious few moments of your son’s life in your home BUILDING. Building a foundation for him that teaches him how to respect, protect, and provide for all the future women in his life." My question is why does it have to be either "nagging, lecturing, hassling, belittling, derailing, fussing, fuming, arguing, undermining, complaining, comparing, and tearing down" or essentially relinquishing all parental authority to the man of the house?
I can't wrap my mind around the idea that if I discipline my son (especially while his father is away) that I am somehow presenting a non-submissive, nagging controlling image...I want my son to grow up and marry an independent, strong, capable woman...granted, there is a certain strength which comes through submission and in our home my husband is the leader but we CO-parent and our children are expected to respect me and my authority as equal to my husband's.
As a military family, not only is this parenting philosophy impractical, it's impossible. When I mentioned that this mentality could contradict my authority while my husband is away, a woman (again, whom I don't know) replied that skype would be there to help...seriously? I'm supposed to look at my teenage son and say "son, what you're doing is very disappointing and sometime in the next two weeks when your father finally gets the chance to video call home, he'll talk to you about it." Yeah, I don't think so.
What do you think? Should teenage boys ONLY be accountable to their father?