May 1, 2011

Quarter-life crisis.

Two years ago, my husband went through what I somewhat affectionately refer to as his quarter-life crisis. He started seriously talking about joining the military. It had been a long standing joke (ha. ha.) because in high school he was in JROTC and in college he just sort of fit with "those" guys. So when a couple of our closest friends took the plunge as it were, I made a joke while driving home one night, "so, are you next?" When he replied "yes" without the sarcastic or jocular tone I expected I nearly had a heart attack...not really an exaggeration since I do have a heart condition. I knew he'd been considering it for a while and we'd had a few serious discussions but it was always one of those, maybe one day things that never really happen except that this time it did. Since we had JUST bought our first house and had an infant son, I was not totally thrilled. It took months of negotiations and research before Joshua finally swore in and for the most part, I think it's been a good thing for us.

Well, now it's my turn.

No. I'm not joining the military...even if I wanted to, which I don't (waking up before the sun and working out is NOT my idea of fun), they would never take me and all my unique health issues.

I'm just feeling really restless. I want to do an ironman triathlon, travel to exotic places and buy a convertible-I had one in college and desperately miss the feeling of driving down the highway with the top down on a warm summer day, ponytail waving in the wind, radio blasting.

The problem is that I can't do a triathlon...I can't swim (I can tread) and when I mentioned running a marathon to my cardiologist at my last visit, he laughed. Not an encouraging sign. As for traveling to exotic places and buying a convertible, it's really not in the cards any time soon. I'm pregnant...I'm not even allowed to drive 4 hours to Dallas. And Joshua's deployed so if I got a convertible, I'd also have to get a second set of car seats and it just kind of defeats the image of freedom in a convertible if you have two kids squeezed into the backseat.

So, what's my solution? A combination of deferment and projection. First, I'm reminding myself that I will not be pregnant forever and travel and convertibles will come again. To be honest, as much as this restlessness has me frustrated from time to time, I wouldn't change my life for anything. If I had waited to have children, it may never have happened for us...we didn't discover many of the health issues I have until we starting "trying." As for the triathlon, I informed Joshua last night that I would love for him to start training for one...he's deployed...what else is he going to do with all his time? His response was to tell me that he wasn't saying yes and wasn't saying no, which means he'll do it because I pretty much always get my way. Plus, I kind of think he owes me for agreeing to this whole military life and I think it's time to play that card. I plan to live vicariously through him. The other benefit of him doing the triathlon instead of me is that I get a husband who's


Milwife Mama of One said...

Well he and my husband can do a tri together then. An Ironman Triatholon is in the works, perhaps for soon after we get back from overseas? Gotta peg the swimming part though - my husband sinks like a rock! Bwt, this is HIS dream, but I think it's way awesome!!! :D