Don't say I didn't warn you.
We're down to just hours and the stupid Army is taking most of them up making sure Joshua and all the other guys have their gear in order. Between that and the fact that the closer we've come to this deployment, the more stupid people seem to be when they ask me questions, I've decided to post a list of questions/statements that drive me nuts (and maybe some suggestions at what else you could say or ask instead because I do understand most of the time, people just don't know what to say).
"I couldn't do it."
I get that this one is meant as a compliment but it's not. I don't have a choice. It wasn't something I ever expected in my life and I've had to learn to adapt. You would do the same if you had to.
"Aren't you worried he'll die?"
You know, that hadn't crossed my mind at all! Oh my. What would I do without you here to remind me of the dangers of war...
"How much money will the Army give you if he dies?"
This has been asked twice now. Seriously people. This is just BEYOND tacky/classless/crude/cruel...etc.
"The boy's young, he'll recover eventually"
My hope is that we are able to maintain the familial connection and it isn't something he'll have to "recover" from but rather something that will bond us all closer together and will help him to become a more mature, compassionate, strong young man.
"At least the boy and the soon-to-be girl are young...you know, if something happens"
Really? Why? Why do people even go there?
"Well, you knew what you were signing up for"
How very considerate and compassionate of you...
"Won't you miss sex?"
No. Not at all. I'm a robot. I've heard this one three times and the next person to say it will get an equally inappropriate question about their sex life.
"My husband/boyfriend had to go to (insert safe, comfy, fun city) for two weeks last month, I totally understand."
No. Actually you don't. I don't compare my trials as a parent of one, soon-to-be two, to a parent of 6 or even a parent of one special needs child because it's not the same. You don't know what it's like and I swear if a certain young woman goes on another cruise with her parents and I have to read facebook posts every freaking day about how horrible it is to be separated from her boyfriend, I'm going to slap said young woman. Hard.
"If you need anything, just ask."
I feel a little bad about grouping this in with the others but the thing is so many times people really think it's pride that keeps military spouses from asking for help and maybe to an extent it is but the thing is that there's only a million things I could use some help with and my experience has been that when I ask for help with a specific thing, it's usually the one thing that person is unable to do...which is obviously fine but it does make me slow to reach out again. I LOVE when people specifically say "Can I do "xyz" for you?" Something specific. Something they're willing and able to do and I guarantee you that it's something I won't turn down.