July 15, 2010

Post-children friendships...

can really, really suck sometimes. Especially when you were friends pre-kids but end up having totally different parenting styles. I don't want to be judgemental...I really don't but at some point different parenting styles do effect friendships. I don't want the boy to be surrounded by kids whose parents have vastly different boundaries for their children (in either direction). Without going into it, I'm in a bit of a pickle with a woman who was at one time my best friend. There are multiple reasons we've grown apart and I believe that sometimes friends come into your life only for a season but this just sucks.

4 comments:

Mrs. Doc Handsome said...

I can definitely see how this could put a strain on a relationship. All my friends are still in the pre-kid phase but I'm sure as soon as they start having children, this will probably be a concern eventually. I wish you the best of luck with the pickle you're in. It sounds like a toughie =[

Amber said...

Yes...this is true. I think this is a subject all of its own. Sometimes you realize that you use to be good friends with someone, but you've just both grown in different directions. Some people grow up, and some people don't.

Milwife Mama of One said...

Ugh that does suck :(. We haven't quite run into the different parenting styles dilemma yet because many of our friends here do not yet have children or their children are under 1 year old. However, we are definitely hitting the babysitter block :\. Despite the fact that we enjoy spending time with these friends, we simply don't trust that they will care for our child the way we wish. How do you tell the people you spend most of your time with that it's okay for one couple to watch your child but not the other? The whole "military base = tiny community = everyone knows everyone and everything about everyone" part makes it challenging :(. So yeah, we wish you the best and if you have any wisdom to share, please do! I guess the bottom line is your child is more important, but that doesn't make strained relationships any easier. Praying for you and your friend!

Laina said...

oh yes do I know about this. I am currently going through the same thing. People you are so close to and somehow when our lives move forward a gap is created and sometimes it's impossible to bridge that gap. Your first priority is your child and if you are uncomfortable with him/her around certain influences then it's your job to protect him/her. It is heart wrenching though. Sometimes I wish certain things could stay the same, especially special friendships. Maybe we just outgrow one another and it is hindering to our own growth to cling to the past.