May 15, 2010

MilWife Question - Please Help!!!

Sorry about the double posting today but I have a friend, we'll call her N for now (not sure how much info she wants out there) whose husband, we'll call him A, is about to graduate BCT/AIT with my husband but they're regular Army not Guard so they're looking at their first PCS. It looks like A will be stationed in "a foreign country" (I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post specifics although she knows the country) and is likely to deploy at the end of the year. If N goes with her husband oversees, will the Army move her and all her stuff back to the states while A's deployed? I've tried to tell her to wait because she's considering not going oversees at all and I really think if she goes, she might find a great support structure for her and her son but I know how scary the idea of going oversees only to be left shortly there after with a small child and possibly another on the way. N doesn't have a blog or many MilWife friends so whatever advice or information you could give, I would greatly appreciate it and pass it along.

10 comments:

Milwife Mama of One said...

OK, so I have an insanely long response to this post but I can't submit it as a comment (too many characters). Please check out my blog for the full post - I'd really like to be able to help out your friend! :)

http://meanderingsofaclutteredmind.blogspot.com/2010/05/for-friend.html

The Wifey said...

Simply put...no they won't. If they move overseas on a set of orders they won't pay to move you back over without orders. If she would want to come back while he is deployed then they would have to pay for the move back. For them to pay for the move it has to be executed within a year of the orders. So she could wait if the deployment end was going to be within that year period but I suggest she go over. The support systems overseas are awesome!

New Girl on Post said...

The other two ladies are right. They really discourage wives moving back to the States before a deployment unless it's necessary for a major reason. We were told they would pay for us to move home, but would not pay for us to move back overseas and we would lose certain privledges if we did indeed move back after they'd moved us home. I don't recommend that she move back home for a deployment. Some of the best times I've had in Italy have been during this deployment and I have some wonderful friends here. She'll have great support if she stays overseas!

Sarah said...

Everyone else is correct. =) I'm just going to say that I am in Hawaii and just moved here and found out my hubby is being deployed in the next month. I know several women who are moving back home, and everyone keeps asking me the same. You can move, but the Army won't pay for it. They also will not give you your COLA, and I don't know if they'll pay for you to put your thing in storage. I am staying in Hawaii while he's deployed even though I would *love* to go home. It's just going to be easier on me to get in our house and situated instead of getting into a house and turning right around and moving AGAIN. All that to say that it might be a better idea for her to stay put overseas and just go visit home when she needs to.

Julie the Army Wife said...

What the others have said is true. I also would suggest going over there with him. Deployments can get moved and it would be horrible to be stuck in the US while he is in the other country just waiting for a deployment to start. If she can get plugged in to the community overseas, she could have a really awesome time of it.

Lindsey and Co said...

My husband and I have been stationed overseas before, in which he's done a few deployments. It doesnt make sense to move back while they are deployed. As a wife (and mom) it makes you stronger through the process. You can't always go runnin' back home ya know? Usually overseas things are A LOT more tight knit and the support is huge. She will be fine :)

Milwife Mama of One said...

Oh yeah, forgot about one of the great benefits of living overseas - you get to take advantage of Space-A travel! This means free (or near free) travel to/from the states (to a port of entry, not within the states once you get there), and free/near free travel to piles of other overseas locations - schweet! You ONLY have this benefit if you are stationed overseas (or are retired, but doesn't sound like that's the case ;p).

Brianna Renee said...

Thanks ladies. I'm passing on all the great advice. I think she'll be great, she just needs some reassurance that she won't actually be alone.

Brianna Renee said...

I have to say, being a Guardsman's wife with deployment on the horizon, reading all these great benefits, I'm a little jealous. We live in the middle of nowhere and I know about 5 people in our town of 3000 (moved for work)...thank God for the internet!

Wife on the Roller Coaster said...

I agree with the above comments. My husband wasn't deployed while we lived overseas, but many of my friends' husbands were. We had an AMAZING community, and I often tell people that if my husband were to be deployed, I hoped he had left while we were still overseas because of that community. I would strongly encourage her to go.