Where's the pen!s?

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that the crass title of this post is the very first thing I said yesterday when the ultrasound tech gave us our first peek between our new little one's legs. Apparently, there wasn't one. We're having a girl. I seem to have a filter problem when it comes to big moments with my children. Don't get me wrong, I already love this little girl like crazy just as I love our son but like I said, I have a filter problem. The first thing I said when the boy was born (after confirming he was healthy and had all ten fingers and ten toes) was to my husband..."baby, I'm not pregnant anymore!"

Once I got over the momentary shock of "it's a girl," I was able to focus on what the perinatologist had to say. Most of it was good but not great. She's alive and she's thriving. I don't have placenta previa which was a concern but she has what's called echogenic bowel. Basically, her kidneys were showing up brighter on the ultrasound than they should. The most likely reason  is that at some point I spotted and she swallowed the blood (kinda gross but that's actually what we're hoping for) and her kidneys should clear up with time. Unfortunately, echogenic bowel is also a "soft-marker" for a chromosomal condition like Down's Syndrom or Cystic Fibrosis. As a result, the chance that she has something like that, given my age and our ethnicity goes from about 1 in 800 to about 4%. Since the chance is still very small, we've decided against getting the more invasive amnio tests to know for sure. We'll continue to monitor her with ultrasounds and hope and pray that everything clears up with time. In the meantime, I'm having fun buying stuff. I don't think my husband fully appreciated my love of shopping until about two hours after we were told it's a girl...his exact words were "I need to make more money." In all fairness, I did warn him that girls are expensive and it's exponential as they age.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

You're only a day away!

Ok, so it's a bit corny but it's how I feel today because tomorrow we'll go to my perinatologist and see our first 3D images of the baby. We've already had SEVERAL 2D ultrasounds (the only benefit of being labeled "high risk"). But tomorrow, we fully expect to walk away knowing the gender and it's so exciting. With our son the very first 3D image we saw was him "in all his glory." We moved on and got to see some amazing video  of him actually sucking his thumb...something he unfortunately still does. It's a work in progress.

I have a few friends who for various reasons have opted not to find out the gender and although I think that's awesome, I can't do it. At least not with this pregnancy because Joshua's deploying. He's going to miss the birth (I'm not quite ready to blog about that yet) and if it's a girl...oh the plans I have...much of which, Joshua will be required to do in the minuscule time he has before he leaves.

Back to more pleasant things: The first time I had to go to the perinatologist, I was so intimidated because he's that guy...the guy who takes care of the highest of high risks. I'm blessed that I expect to only see him a few times during my pregnancy and otherwise I'm able to see my "normal" OB. The office waiting room is different than any other I've been in. OB's are usually happy and bouncy rooms, my cardiologist's waiting rooms have generally been professional but sober but the perinatologist is some sort of weird mix of the two atmospheres. The wait times can exceed the appointment by hours because even with multiple doctors on hand, they have emergencies and you just wait. Nobody complains because everyone there is there for the same reason...something is wrong and they have to fight to have children. I'll never forget my first visit...although there's one aspect I wish I could. I wore a shirt which ended up making me feel worse than I have ever felt...like bottom of the barrel, scum of the Earth, bad just really, really bad. I wore a maternity shirt, surrounded by high risk pregnant women, many of whom have suffered multiple miscarriages and are at that office hoping desperately not to have another. The shirt read: I Can Grow People. It's a super cute maternity shirt from my favorite maternity boutique but it was the worst thing I could have possibly worn in that office. I spent the two hours waiting to be seen with my arms crossed high above my chest, hoping and praying that the wrong woman wouldn't read it and have her heart broken into a million pieces.

So, tomorrow, I will be wearing a much more boring, plain t-shirt and jeans and I'll get to see my little peanut. Eeek!

The Alien Within

Kid #2 is trying to kill me before he/she is even born.

That sounds fairly dramatic but I'm about 90% sure it's true. I don't have easy pregnancies. It's a fact but this one has taken the cake. I'm ready to be done but sadly I'm only 17 weeks along so I've got quite a ways to go. With the boy, the nausea wasn't fun and didn't end until around week 26 (yeah and it was worse in the 2nd trimester...I'm one of those special women). My heart was the big problem with the boy though. For those of you that don't know, I have what is essentially a very minor heart condition (as heart conditions go). It's called SVT for short. You may have heard of it because it's not terribly rare for pregnant women to develop SVT for a short time during their pregnancy. I've had it or had the diagnosis of it for just under 10 years. Long story short, it's an electrical problem and my heart beats irregularly. Mostly, it just causes a lot of pain and can lead to preterm labor if not properly monitored and controlled. So with the boy, I was placed on a couple different drugs...if you're really curious, it was digoxen and a beta blocker but most likely anyone reading this won't know or care what they are. They helped and the boy arrived right when we wanted him to arrive but it wasn't easy and it freaked out my husband more than I think I realized at the time.

Before I whine anymore, let me first clarify that I find pregnancy to be truly a gift from God and the most miraculous experience a woman can have. For me, it's just a gift that kicks my butt (hopefully) for 9 months before I can actually enjoy it.

As for this pregnancy, my heart has been great. That's about where to good times end though. The vomiting is worse...yeah. I didn't really think that was possible but for my first two OB appointments, I showed a fairly significant loss in weight instead of a gain which wasn't a surprise because I was essentially throwing up 5-7 times a day every day. Like with the boy, I tried everything to make the morning sickness go away. I started with the old school natural routes...real gingerale and crackers. Nada. In fact, real gingerale really burns coming back up. I've come to judge food and drinks by more than how they taste just going down but I won't gross you out further with that information. I quickly moved onto drugs. Finagrin was a waste of time and actually made me feel kinda loopy. My OB had me try it in EVERY form...oral pill, wrist gel (that stuff's weird) and the shot. Again, nada. Nothing helped until zofran. I love zofran. If you're unfamiliar with it, it's a drug primarly used to treat nausea and vomiting for surgery and cancer patients. Zofran managed to cut the vomiting down to only a couple times a day, 3-4 days a week. Not fun but totally manageable. Until the day I apparently threw up one time too many. I tore my esophagus and began vomiting blood. NOT FUN. So we took a trip to the ER and thankfully for a tear in the esophagus, it "wasn't bad." Oh good.

There have been other complications which have caused me to get a few shots in the bum and random pelvic exams that really aren't much fun but right now the priority, no matter how un-fun, is to keep the kid in.

It's My Deployment and I'll Cry If I Want To...

...or eat junk food at an unbelievable rate

....or throw myself a mini-pity party when my husband's not watching

...or buy myself a totally indulgent overly priced "deployment gift"

...or return to blogging

...most-likely it'll be some sort of combination of all of the above.

I suppose an explanation of my absence would only be appropriate. Joshua...the hubs...returned from training and we spent a couple weeks pretty much ignoring the world and hanging out with the boy. Then, we went on vacation to our favorite spot, Walt Disney World and finally we visited some of our favorite friends in Georgia. Shortly thereafter, we found out that I am pregnant. Normally all these things would be great subjects to blog about and I probably should have blogged about everything but the pregnancy. The truth is all I wanted to blog about was the pregnancy but I couldn't...well, I could have technically but I couldn't go through posting "I'M PREGNANT" to the world just to have to post that I'm not a few weeks later which has been my history. This is my 5th pregnancy...but it will, hopefully be our 2nd child. Even after reaching the 2nd trimester, I was hesitant to announce the pregnancy publicly because recently two very dear friends lost their own babies well into the 2nd trimester. It really messed with my mind which is why I was so relieved that Joshua wasn't scheduled to deploy until well into my 3rd trimester.

Well...at least that was the plan until the Army decided to change Joshua's team assignment which has bumped up his deployment about 2 months earlier than initially expected.

Oh yay.

The only consolation I have is that because my pregnancy is "high risk" I'm scheduled to get my first 3D/4D ultrasound before Joshua leaves and we'll get to see the gender for the first time together.

For the record, I'm hoping for a boy because we're set for another boy. He'd sleep in our room until he'd be big enough to take the second bed in "the boy's" room. By the way, if it's another boy, I've decided that for blogging purposes instead of "the boy" and "the boy part deux," it'll be "the heir" and "the spare." It's just so much easier. The boy was born in June, we saved all his clothes and #2 is due in July so the only clothes I would need to buy would be fun little additions to the wardrobe. If it's a girl, we're in trouble...not just because I would MUCH rather deal with a broken bone than a broken heart but because I have grand plans for the 3rd bedroom...think Parisian. I picture white wainscoting, a giant mural of the Eiffel Tower, little white French Poodle accents and a chandelier. Joshua wisely didn't say anything when I told him of my grand plans. He just kind of got a glazed over "oh my" look in his eyes. My guess is that he was estimating all the labor and money he may be about to drop...especially since we will literally have a matter of days to do everything after finding out the gender.

So, there it is. I'm back to blogging and about to need it more than ever before.

Military Spouses...Mental Health Study

Oregon Health & Sciences University is conducting a study "to get a sense of what issues bother military wives most and to provide information about deployment and how it affects families." To participate or for more information, go to Military Wives Matter.

my son....the nudist

"My son is two years old...my son is two years old"...that's been my mantra over the last few days. I've had to repeat it over and over in my head and sometimes even outloud. I've been reminding myself that he's acting like a two year old because he is a two year old and it's ok. I'm sure the words "my son is 15 years old" will also eventually become a mantra common in our house. Don't get me wrong, the boy is very well behaved 98% of the time...but even the best behaved two year old boy is still a two year old boy. Take for example, our trip to the library today. It was parachute play day and we were both pretty excited-it's great to meet other parents and socialize but unfortunately for us today, my son was the youngest (and only "boy's boy") there today so when it was time to bounce little nerf balls on the parachute, he took it upon himself to be the clean up person...ie the one who chases after the balls and returns them to the parachute. Well...chasing the balls, no problem...returning the balls, problem. They're smaller and lighter than his balls at home and whenever he went to throw them back, inevitably he threw too hard and too far. Innocent bystanders were hit and annoyed. He apologized, well, kinda-he's two...and he tried again. The worst part was that no matter what he did, he seemed to always end up bumping or throwing a ball at the prissiest little girl and her equally prissy mother....neither were pleased but I hesitated to say more than a simple correction to him because he really was only trying to help. He just doesn't do anything with very much grace or softness...hugs are a full-contact sport in our home which later another little girl at Walmart found out but that's for another post. When it comes to that sort of two year old behavior, I'm totally good with it...I've always said I'd rather a kid with a broken bone than a kid with a broken heart (one of the many reasons God knew what He was doing by giving me a son and not a daughter). Like I said though, don't get me wrong, my son is very obedient and although he's not perfect, he's great about not doing to same negative thing after being corrected and we have a strict home with consistent rules because for us, it's the only way we can make everything work.

Which brings me to the real reason for this post...my son likes to be naked. Every night for the last several nights and even one naptime, I've walked into his room after I heard him wake up only to find the child totally and completely naked. I don't think it would be such a big deal if he was actually potty trained but he's not so it is a very big deal. I don't believe spanking or time outs will help in this particular situation because from what I've been able to figure out, he's stripping pretty early at night and sleeping free. To punish a two year old the morning after he does something wrong just doesn't seem like it'll work although you can be sure he understands my feelings on the subject. I've tried everything I know...sleeping with snugger pjs that are tougher for him to get off-he still got out of them and threw the diaper 4 feet from his bed....backwards facing diaper under pjs-he got the pjs off and literally ripped the diaper off his little butt...I even put him in full length footy pjs in the middle of summer-he unbuttoned, unzipped and got out of his clothes and yes, again took off his diaper. I'm at a loss. The only thing I can think to do now (other than A-duct taping the diaper directly onto the child or B-potty training which I wanted to wait till Oct to do so we don't have a half potty-trained kid at Disney World next month-plus, potty training's great but there are still accidents at night so even if I started today it could be months before he could "sleep free" without me having to do a load of laundry in the morning) is find some shorts that have a true drawstring. Most toddler clothes have fake drawstrings for show and not function so I'm having a tough time but it may be my only option.


UPDATE:

This post was initially written while the boy was napping (innocently, I thought). Turns out it wasn't so innocent and it was bad, like really, really bad. I had a moment. Pulled it together. Cleaned up and at bedtime I taped the child's diaper onto him (no tape touched skin) and then put him in zip up pjs and taped the zipper shut...and just for good measure (and because he doesn't really 'need' it) I turned out his nightlight. He went to sleep faster than usual and in the morning we were totally clothed...YAY.

Tonight, however, rather than dealing with taping everything for every nap and every night I decided to take up a friend's advice (well, technically her husband's but he's a friend too) and I put the boy's footy zipper pjs on backwards after cutting off the feet.

I have never felt so victorious. Mostly because yesterday evening when the boy woke up I never felt so defeated...so incapable.

My Favorite Things

Being a mom is the most comfortable, natural thing for me. I won't go so far as to call it easy, because it's not but it's often the only thing I feel truly good at...pretty much everything else I just sort of stumble through.

I've wanted to do a quick post about my favorite 'Mom' things for a while now because sooooo many new moms are clueless. If it weren't for the fact that childcare was my profession long before it was my passion (I nannied professionally for 5 years before having the boy), I would have wasted tons of time and no doubt money on stuff which was essentially useless. That being said, I don't plan to do tons of mom-reviews because every family is different and what works for one often doesn't for another. But, nonetheless, here's a list of my favorite things...

*Mylicon...if you have a kid, you understand. If you don't and your pregnant, buy two bottles. It's miraculous infant gas relief. I would've paid almost any amount for this stuff if/when our son needed it.

*Tummy Sleeve...also known by a few other brand names but basically these things helped me wear my normal every day pants all the way up through my last week of pregnancy which was great because often maternity pants are just ugly and the ones that aren't are easily $50-60 a piece. The only downside is that if you gain weight in your thighs easily or get super bloated in your legs, even a tummy sleeve may not be able to help

*AngelCare monitor...it's essentially like any other static monitor except that it has a second function. With the help of a motion sensor pad which easily goes under a crib or bassinet mattress, it has the ability to set off an alarm if the baby should stop breathing for 20 seconds. IT'S AWESOME!!! My biggest fear (and I know I'm not alone) was SIDS. This monitor is the ONLY thing which allowed me to sleep easy knowing that if something happened, I would know right away. The best part for us was that the static part (or traditional monitoring) was able to be turned off and we could use only the motion sensor while our son was in a bassinet in our room without the annoying static background and then as he got bigger we were able to turn off the motion sensor and use the monitor like any other (read: the little rug rat learned how to stand in the corner of his crib on his tip toes very still and purposely make the alarm go off in the middle of the night just to laugh at us as we ran in).

*Jogger strollers with a swivel wheel...they're awesome. They glide over almost any surface and are often so easy you can push with just one hand-which leaves the other hand open for talking on the phone or sipping some coffee. Swivel wheeled joggers generally still have the ability to lock forward for a more stable jogging experience but you also have the ability to just walk normally and not have to worry about tipping it up every time you want to turn. They are much heavier than an umbrella stroller and more expensive than other "normal" strollers but I will never go with another stroller that doesn't have jogger styled wheels (also sometimes called all-terrain wheels). Between nannying and our own son, I've used (on a consistent basis) SIX different strollers of all different kinds. This is the one we have now for our son. It's kept him occupied, been a comfortable place to nap, held all our baby necessities and easily maneuvered everything we've thrown at it from the beach to numerous trips to the zoo, science museum and mall to 10 days at Disney World last year.

(ours is slightly different in color)

*last but certainly not least, nipple guards...sorry if it's TMI but my child was a chomper from day 1 and it was highly unpleasant. Neither my husband nor I will forget my Day 6 meltdown. No one had told me such a wondrous invention as nipple guards even existed and so I sat in our bed crying from pain both physical and emotional as my husband offered to open the can of formula someone had given us and we had decided to keep as emergency back-up but instead (I'm extremely stubborn and was convinced SOMETHING would help) we went to Babies-R-Us and sat in the parking lot for an hour waiting for them to open. Once they did and I had the chance to talk to someone about our little problem, they knew just what to recommend and now I'm recommending it to everyone. They not only protect a very sensitive area for mom, they help teach baby how to suckle properly. I only had to use them a couple of weeks before both my son and I got the hang of things. I used them again when he began teething for a few weeks but in the end, I credit the guards with my being able to nurse our son until he was just over a year old (I quit on Independence Day weekend-it only seemed appropriate).