Deployment...the not-so-friendly ghost

Father's Day was officially three months since Joshua returned and although I'm thrilled/relieved/humbled to say that we've managed the reintegration better than I expected, there are moments when the deployment seems like a ghost in the corner invisible to all but us. Like last month when we went to the local arts festival and a balloon popped. Joshua jumped. Not a huge jump. Not really even out of fear. I was probably the only person who noticed but it threw me back to the nights when I didn't sleep and jumped when someone knocked at the door. Our little ghost is coming around less and less often and although I don't think we'll ever really be free of him, he has less of an impact. 


The thing that does still carry a punch is when I hear someone belittle my husband's service (or any other service member's sacrifice). Being a Guard family, we live in two worlds. It's sometimes a blessing and sometimes a burden. The benefits are obvious...we don't have to move, Joshua will (theoretically) deploy less often and we're not always inside the "Army bubble." Unfortunately, the biggest downside is that many people we live and work with don't understand our life. It's arguable whether that's because the can't understand it or they just won't but either way, it can hurt.


Yesterday, Joshua went to his civilian job with his multi-cam back pack (it's how he prefers to carry his laptop) and a woman he works with (whom I will refer to as L and who knows he's still in the Guard and scheduled to go active duty again soon) stopped him and asked "What's up with the camo bag?"


I don't think Joshua totally understood the question or the reason for it and replied "It's what was issued and I like it." 


L: "But it's not like you're really in the military now."


The room got silent (which at his job is hard to do) and I'm thankful that someone else stepped up and corrected L so that Joshua didn't have to. I understand what she meant by it but it's the attitude behind it that stings. Sometimes, I wish people with that attitude could see our little ghost. Maybe then they'd understand.