February 1, 2012


Sunday night I had a nightmare. It wasn't a big deal really. Not even that terrifying necessarily. The thing is I have a huge fear of snakes. I've always hated them...I blame Eve. Seriously though, it didn't get better when I almost got bit by a rattlesnake while I was working and living at a backpacking ranch in New Mexico the summer after high school. I was only really saved because a friend of mine managed to push me out of the way. Anyway, there was a picture floating around facebook of a really big snake and since I'm so much of a visual person, it stuck with me and that night my dreams were filled with the giant snake.

I tossed and turned all night but I woke up and tried to brush it off. Monday night's krav maga class (a self-defense/fitness class that I recommend highly if you ever get the chance) was the perfect outlet for the stress. Only this week's class we did a drill that was difficult. There was the physically strenuous part that happens every week (my legs are still mush) but then there was a mental side to it. One of the things we did was choking drills...more accurately we worked on how to get out of a choke hold. I guess I have to back up. A long, long time ago I was on a date. It ended up being a bad situation that could have been a really bad situation. The class brought up feelings and memories that are painful and the only person I wanted to talk to about it has been unable to call or skype with me. So, I'm comforting myself with girl scout cookies and the knowledge that I did it. I fought through the class while maintaining my composure and I learned how to fight out of a choke hold. And two days later I haven't had any nightmares.


JG said...

Oh my goodness. That sounds draining on all levels. I hope you guys get to talk soon. I haven't seen that snake picture yet...thankfully...but I'm that way with spiders. I can't even type the word without literally shuddering.