October 24, 2011

Lessons Learned

Deployment teaches lessons. 

Some lessons suck...like how to do anything mechanical-lesson learned: it's good to be married to a mechanically gifted man and without him, getting stuff fixed with two kids is a pain and it really cuts into the retail therapy budget. 

Some lessons are gross...like when you have two sick kids and each is exploding in some form-lesson learned: it's good to have another person home to help with the cleaning...and by "help with the cleaning" I mean, of course, clean it all while I attempt not to vomit from the smell.

Some lessons are heart breaking...like realizing it's been months since this friend or that friend called, texted or emailed because somehow deployment changes friendships. People don't always know what to say or how to reach out. Double dates are out and a girl's-night-out sometimes take Herculean effort. In the end, their lives haven't been turned upside down so time just goes on and eventually the friendship turns into an awkward acquaintance.

But mostly, the lessons are life changing. I know, it sounds dramatic but it is. I've spent the last eight months...yeah, EIGHT months...learning things about myself and my marriage...some good, some not so good. I've been humbled and broken with my own weakness. I'm proud of my husband and our marriage. Strange as it may sound, we're as strong if not stronger as we've ever been. Don't get me wrong, we've had some disagreements...some might say epic fights but the distance has done two things. First, it limits communication which means the fights can last longer (like the entire month of May) but it also means that we're forced to take some time before reacting. And second...most importantly, it has been a daily reminder of how much I love him. I'm a fairly guarded person and the idea of sappy vulnerability scares the crap out of me but it turns out it doesn't scare me as much as the idea of living without him.


JG said...

You are awesome and I'm impressed by you every day. Not least because you use words like Herculean. ;) Kidding, sort of. Love and miss you. I can't wait for this to be over for you.